My high school reunion is next year. Weird. I started thinking about what I was thinking and feeling in high school, and I don't think I've changed all that much. It's kind of depressing really. Growing up in the church you learn that as a Christian, you are supposed to grow. I honestly couldn't pinpoint how I have grown since high school. Maybe I'm more confident, but maybe I'm still insecure. I think I'm both. I sometimes feel like I'm not worth knowing, mostly cause I have a boring life. Really. I work in the library. That's not very exciting.
I actually met a guy today who graduated in the same program I did at Azusa, only he was in the online program and I did the traditional program. He just got a great job, and I'm stuck in the library. It sort of made me feel like a failure. See? What is up with this moodiness?
I'm trying to remember that God loves me, and that there are people out there who care about me...like Kelvin and Yolanda, who invited me to see the Summer Pops Orchestra tonight in San Diego even though they could have made it a date for just the two of them. Plus I'm slightly bummed that I can't go hiking tomorrow with my friends from church because I have to go to a wedding for my co-worker. She would be really hurt if I didn't show up. Part of the reason I don't like going out of town is because I'm always afraid that I'll be missing out on some great activity when in reality, there aren't really any activities taking place.
I got asked to lead the music at our church's kids camp, so I wrote a song for our theme verse. Its very catchy. Lots of shouting. If I knew what they were going to be talking about each day, I could possibly write some more music. I can write kids stuff...its easy. I think it will be fun, but tiring. I need about ten songs to do. If anyone (ahem...Ryan or Megan) has any ideas for songs, especially if they have to do with John 14:6 (I am the way, the Truth, and the life, no one comes to the Father but through me...) let me know. I may try to incorporate them.
2 comments:
I think Robyn needs some ego stroking.
I am not very good at this sort of thing (I don't practice much) so here goes...
Robin, remember our senior year, we were talkng about being in orchestra. You had a preformance to play at and you were really stressed out because you had not been practicing very much for it. You may not recall but I forced you to compare your senior year as a cellist to your freshman year, and how you had to put in so much work. I believe I compelled you to admit that you had improved at cello. Well, speaking from that position of a friend I can say that you have changed so much. I have witnessed not only your growth as a disciple of Christ, but also as a woman. I think it may be hard for you to see, but you have matured in your relationships with your parents, with the love and care you show your brothers and sister, in your service to your church, and in your relationship with God. You are always going to be His little girl, that He longs to hold and care for, but I have seen you change from freshman year where you acted like an adult to now where you are an adult, and one who I consider it a priviledge to call a friend. So as a friend I am compelled to force you, once again, to look with different eyes and see the hard, wonderful, messy, difficult, and great journey God is (and has been) taking you on as He makes you more and more like His Son.
If this doesn't work I have a stick, it is magic. I use it to magically beat some sense into you ;)
Have a day filled with God moments
Moodiness I tell you... Thanks for the words of encouragement. I'm feeling much better this week. I think the ups and downs are just a natural part of life, you know? Anyway, I'm glad you're my friend Ryan. Please don't beat me.
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