Thoughts about and experiments in Christian meditation

One of the ideas frequently mentioned in the Bible is that of mediation. Just a few examples:

Do not let this book of the law depart from your mouth, meditate on it day and night...

Give ear to my words, Oh Lord, Consider my meditation...

I often feel like one of those hypocritical Christians because I pray so rarely. It often feels beyond my comprehension to sit down and "connect" to an entity that I do not fully understand. What I DO know is that I long for this connection, and that I am very out of practice in my ability to pray and/or meditate.

As I re-read the chapter on meditation in Richard Foster's Celebration of Discipline, I was reminded that people learn meditation by meditating. Christian meditation is really about making space to experience the presence of God. Foster writes:

What happens in meditation is that we create the emotional and spiritual space which allows Christ to construct an inner sanctuary in the heart (20).

Foster also makes a great connection between meditation and imagination. He writes:

Perhaps some rare individuals experience God through abstract contemplation alone, but most of us need to be more deeply rooted in our senses...Even more, the imagination helps to anchor our thoughts and center our attention (25).

One of the things I've realized lately is that I am also out of practice in using my imagination. For a long time, I have been squashing my dreams, hopes, and thus, also my creativity. Most people I know would describe me as a creative person, and being creative is something that I would say I value. However, I am experiencing a gap in my life (at the moment) in this area. The reality is that I am unable to be creative without using my imagination. It should come as no surprise then, that I've found I have difficulty being creative and finding things that inspire my creativity. I'm not certain what commentary in the world I've been listening to, but it hasn't been very positive or validating. Somehow, I have let the "voices in my head" tell me that imagining is silly, unproductive and a waste of time.

The truth is, that those who are the most imaginative and those who are the dreamers are really those who can most make a difference in the world if they choose to do so.

I think I'm ready to dust off my rusty imagination and see what may come of it. That, and start practicing some meditation in my life.

Pocket of Grace

The last month has been stressful and chaotic, mostly because I packed up all my earthly possessions and moved them to Texas. So far, I am really enjoying it. I had only been there about 3 weeks before I left to go to a conference last week where I was doing a presentation. The presentation went well I thought, and it was great to see many of my former coworkers at the conference. 

On my way back from Missouri (where the conference was) to Texas, I stopped and spent the night with my friend Beryl at her Aunt and Uncle's house. I had originally left my car there to carpool with Beryl (who had flown from CA to OK). When I got back, I found my car washed, detailed, and tuned up. Beryl's Uncle Doug had taken my car into the shop to have it checked out for me. He not only had the car detailed, but had them rotate my tires, do an alignment, and try to figure out what the knocking noise was on the left side of the engine.

I was really touched by this. My car had been maintained mechanically, but not really physically in the last few months. This was a totally unlooked for surprise, and I'm thankful to Doug for the care he took of my car while I was away. 

Doug was an agent of grace in a stressful and chaotic time in my life, and I'm thankful for the reminder from God that even though I feel like things are a bit challenging and chaotic right now, everything is going to be alright--He sometimes leads me to rest in these pockets of grace.

Practice

I had a friend ask me how I'm doing spiritually this week. Instead of answering the question directly, I kind of made up some excuses that did not really answer his question. I guess I was dodging the question because I was hiding the truth.

The sermon tonight at church was about God's comfort. The pastor told us that if we feel God's absence, that is evidence of his presence at other times in our lives.

I think this gave me hope.

Tonight, I got to play cello with a band that I absolutely love. They lead worship on Sunday nights at the church I attend. I have to admit that worship is definitely a state of mind, and it is difficult for me to truly worship God when I play cello. The reason is because I'm thinking more about the music than my state of mind. I can count on my hand the number of times I have truly worshipped God using my cello. But I can say that those times were some of the most meaningful experiences I have ever had as a musician. They come few and far between, but because music is a discipline, the more I practice, the better I become, the better my fingers remember their positions, the less I have to think about what I'm doing, and the more likely it is that I start to think outside of what I am doing physically and move in to a state of meditation. In this state of mind I am able to think beyond the music and think about what the music means. It is in this state of mind that I am able to worship God with all my heart. Like music, worship is a discipline. This is why I practice.