Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Monday, February 27, 2006

Discipline

I have completely lost my ability to be disciplined and study. AAAARRRRGGGHHH!!!!

Procrastination is my new middle name.

Holla.

Sunday, February 26, 2006

Conversations 10 - Lost and Found

"Sherry? Hi, its Robyn... I'm stuck in traffic on 7th street. Is there an alternative route I can take? Cause this is really bad..."

Sherry is one of my mom's best friends from high school, and I was already 30 minutes late for dinner at her house with her husband, son, and my parents.

"Hi Sweetie, yes, can you turn left at B Steet?"

"Yes, I'm actually right at that intersection."

"Okay, then you're going to head south, and turn onto 4th."

"Got it."

"You'll hit 2 or three stop signs, and our street will be on the right. Do you want me to stay on the line?"

"No, I think I got it." So I continued to drive, looking for the street where I had spent a majority of my childhood.

All of a sudden, there it was, and I was going too fast to turn. So I kept driving, looking for a good spot to turn around. There was a lot of construction past their street, and I knew it was not going to be easy to go back the way I came. In fact, it was going to be impossible. I turned left at a stop light and figured I would be able to just go around the block. No such luck because there was a canal in my way, and no option to cross it anywhere in sight.

As I was driving east, looking for a point to cross, my phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Hey!" What's going on?" It was Sherry's son. I am older than he is by exactly five days, and I always hold it over his head. We hadn't talked to each other in about three years.

"Not much, what's going on with you? Where are you?" I asked him, confused...

"I'm at the house, where are you?"

"I think I'm lost. See, I missed your street, and there's all this construction, so I can't get back the way I came, and there's nowhere to cross the stupid canal..."

"Uh-huh...What are the cross-streets?"

I told him my location, and then said, "Yeah, I think I'm going to make a U-Turn."

"That's probably a good idea. Where are you exactly?" he asked as I drove back to the street right before the intersection that was blocked by construction.

I said, "I'm sitting at a stop sign across the soccer field from your house, looking at a baseball dug-out." I gave him the cross streets.

"Stay there."

"Why?"

"I'm coming to find you."

"Okay," I said, "I thought I was kind of far away."

"You're not. I'll jog..." There was a pause in our conversation, "Now I'm winded," he said. "Can you see me?"

I looked around, but didn't see him anywhere. "No, not yet," I replied. I just sat in my car looking at the park across the street. I can remember playing in the park with him when we were young. I was on one side, and his house was on the other. I waited, and watched to see where he was coming from. He was still on the line.

"What are you driving? Are you at a stop-sign?" He asked.

"A little white car," I said, "And yes, I'm sitting at a stop sign."

"I think I see you...Do you see me? I'm on your left."

I looked to the left and saw him walking toward me. He looked a little different from the last time I had seen him, but was still the same.

He said, "I'm going to hang up now."

"Okay," I said, closed my phone, and then unlocked my passenger side door.

He came around and let himself in.

"Hi," he said.

"Hi," I said, "Thanks for coming to find me, I don't think I would have been able to figure out how to get to your house from here."

"You're right," he said, "there is a lot of construction, this is ridiculous."

He then directed me to the house. Turns out I wasn't that far away, but it would have taken me a long time to figure it out on my own.

I parked the car and we both got out.

"It's good to see you," I said.

I locked my door, and he locked his, and I walked up to the sidewalk.

He offered me a hug and stepped back. We were both grinning.

"Good to see you too," He replied.

And we walked inside.

Opera

Went to the opera tonight. It was a tragedy. No. Not the fact that I went to the opera... the opera was a tragedy.

The lead female character goes mad in the third act and kills her husband on their wedding night because she was forced to marry him while she had pledged her love to another man, and basically, all the main characters die a la Romeo and Juliet. Sort of.

Well, in the intermission right before the third act, I heard the flute player play taps (the military "all is quiet, good night" song, usually played by a trumpet or bugle).
That was funny. Cause basically, everyone in the opera was doomed.

Also, have you ever noticed that whenever someone is dying in musicals, operas, movies, or TV, the main death theme is played by a solo cello or by the cello section? It makes me laugh every time.

The cello is a sad instrument. Which is why I'll never be a great cellist. I'm not depressed enough. Yet.

Friday, February 24, 2006

Panicked!

I am back in grad school (what was I thinking?) and its taking up a lot of my time! If you see me this week, I could use some encouragement.

I nearly thought I missed a deadline on a quiz, and I'm behind in my reading. Then again, who isn't? I'm having an anxiety attack...

Thursday, February 23, 2006

Panic attack

I just had a panic attack about school. I don't know if I'm going to be able to sleep tonight. So much to do!!!

However, I get to see one of my favorite people on Saturday night. I'm excited. :)

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

More Transition

The library I work at is going through some very rapid and significant changes. The position I thought I might be able to apply for at some point got approved sooner than anyone thought it would. This means that there probably will not be an opportunity for me to stay here. Dreams die hard and I am sad. I am not qualified to apply for this position.

I have had high anxiety all week. I am pretty sure this coincides with starting grad school again. I have a friend who is also going through a really hard time right now also, and we basically cried together last weekend.

We go to the same church, but different locations, and the message this week was really hard. It was about hope.

As Christians, we are told that we should have joy because of our hope in Christ. I often feel like a hypocrite because I do not often experience joy in my life. I blame myself for not trying hard enough which is counteractive to grace. Depression is very real and something I struggle with regularily. It helps me to know that many of the prophets in the Bible were probably also depressed, especially David. You can still have faith and walk with Christ and be depressed. It is not the path I would have chosen for myself. But when I'm told that Christians should be hopeful and joyful, I cringe a little inside and wonder what the heck is wrong with me and my faith.

I wear a ring with the word "hope" on it that symbolizes this struggle for me. I have faith that God's plan is perfect and that someday I will be with Him in heaven. Should I be able to have more hope than that? Maybe. Should this knowledge change the way I live? Maybe it should, but I don't really know how.

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

No Excuses

Me as I'm trying to climb a rock in Joshua Tree: "I CAN'T DO THIS!"

My friend down below: "YES YOU CAN, WHAT DOES THE BACK OF YOUR SHIRT SAY!!!"

Me: "I DON'T KNOW, I CAN'T REALLY SEE IT RIGHT NOW!!!"

My friend: "MAKE PLAYS, NOT EXCUSES"

"Darn," I thought to myself, "I forgot I was wearing that shirt."

Attitude adjustment. Then I climbed. And made it to the top.

Sunday, February 19, 2006

Joshua Tree

I went to Joshua Tree yesterday with a bunch of friends of mine. We went rock climbing. It was my second time trying. I actually made it all the way up one of the rocks, and half-way up the other. I had to have a lot of coaching though, and it took me forever. On one of the climbs, I looked down and everyone was watching. It was embarassing because I'm such a novice. I yelled at them, "Why is everybody watching me, don't you have anything better to do?" Rock climbing is not the sport for modest people. It is very difficult to try and take pictures of people without accentuating their butts.

The weather was great and I took some GREAT pictures.

Upon arrival however, I managed to back my car into a rock, so now there's a nice scrape on my back bumper. I wasn't going very fast. Stupid rocks. I didn't see it because it was so low to the ground. It did make a loud noise, and I was worried that I might have popped a tire. But I didn't. So now the car just has a little more character. I'm not mad about it, these things happen, and there's nothing i can really do about it. However, I do not liked to be teased about these kinds of things.

Thursday, February 16, 2006

Birthday

Today is my birthday. Both my brothers called me from different phones and locations at almost the exact same time. They are not twins. Weird! And fun, especially since one of them is training for NFL Europe at the moment and I totally didn't expect a call from him.

Going to Outback for dinner with a small group of friends. Should be fun. I wish Laurel could come, but alas, we live in different regions.

Also, found out that a friend of mine is one of four kids. Turns out they are the same birth order (girl/boy/boy/girl) and the exact same ages as me and my siblings. Never met a family as alike as ours before, with the same ages and everything...

I met them because he is a marine and getting deployed for 13 months. His family was at the going away party. And now I have some cool marine stuff.

My dad's dog, Stoney, died about 2 weeks ago. I am really going to miss her and when he finally called me about it (I heard from my sister first), I had to take a crying break from work. Well, he already bought a new puppy-- an aussie like before, and she is seriously the fattest puppy. He asked for name suggestions. I would like to respectfully submit the following name: Attila the Dog. Seriously. She's huge. They can call her Tilly for short. I might still call her Attila even if she ends up with another name.

Sunday, February 12, 2006

My Fortune

Fortune cookie fortune: "You have at your command the wisdom of the ages."

What I said after reading this fortune: "yeah, its called the internet."