Thursday, October 30, 2008

The Music in Me

Concentrating
But not thinking
My fingers move of their own volition
My body tenses
My mind is free
The physicality of memory moves me
Outside myself, but inside
the music encompasses me

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Reflections on my younger self

When I was young, I was:
an adventurer, a trail blazer,
an obstacle course builder and conqueror
a high swinger, a wave jumper, a wind runner

I was an artist, a sculptor
a creator, story-teller and performer
a composer, a believer, a dreamer

I wanted to be found.
I wanted to be a friend.
I wanted to be alive.

Monday, October 13, 2008

Relationships

I had conversations with three different women at church today just about life, relationships, and my single state... I thought it was interesting. One of them told me that I really should be open minded. One of them told me that she wished she had been more picky and careful and that I should really just take my time about making decisions about relationships.

These two statements sound contradictory, but I think they sort of go together. I need to be open minded and give people a chance, but not settle for something less than what I know I need in a significant other.

I just figure that I have been patient and picky for a long time. That's not really going to change.

Saturday, October 04, 2008

Friends

I have realized that when it comes to friendship, I'm sort of like a cat. Somewhat independent, I come and go as I please, get a attached to people but I don't fret when things change. I guess I see change as sort of an inevitable thing.

I am blessed to be able to say that I do still have friends from long ago, and I love the fact that I'm now able to keep in touch with them through technology.

I'm still in touch with Sonja, whom I've known since Kindergarten, Kim and Anne, who used to live down the street from me... their mom is like my second mom...

And then I was reflecting about my college friends, and who I spent the most time with--Laurel, Ryan, Jenn, and Kristi. I do not talk to anyone all that much anymore, except for Laurel, but I just chatted with Kristi today online. I realized today that we spent a lot of time together senior year. I do not remember why. But we had a lot of fun together. Kristi got married pretty quick after college, and now has two really cute kids. I hope I get to meet them someday.

I'm really not so great at keeping in touch with people, but I think I am going to resolve to try a little harder.

Thursday, October 02, 2008

Celebrate!

I *think* I am 50% done with a draft of my portfolio. Only 50% more to go!

Only I have a headache right now! And that sucks.

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

Psalms Project

Psalm 91
He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will rest in the shadow of the Almighty
I will say of the Lord, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God in whom I trust."

Surely He will save you from the fowler's snare
and from the deadly pestilence.
He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge;
his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
You will not fear the terror of night,
nor the arrow that flies by day,
nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,
nor the plague that destroys at midday.
A thousand may fall at your side,
ten thousand at your right hand,
but it will not come near you.
You will only observe with your eyes and see the punishment of the wicked.

If you make the Most High your dwelling--
even the Lord, who is my refuge--
then no harm will befall you,
no disaster will come near your tent.
For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways;
they will lift you up in their hands,
so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.
You will tread upon the lion and the cobra;
you will trample the great lion and the serpent.

"Because he loves me," says the Lord, "I will rescue him;
I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.
He will call upon me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble,
I will deliver him and honor him.
With long life will I satisfy him and show him my salvation."
I am studying this Psalm with a group of artists from my church with the goal of creating something creative or artistic as a result of our study and meditation. I have not decided what to create yet, but I have a feeling my project will have something to do with words.

A Reflection on Psalm 91

When I read this Psalm, I actually feel like I'm sinking deep within my soul to a place of rest. I feel more centered or balanced and gain a confidence perspective of my life and the activity and people in it. Too often I flit from thing to thing, from person to person and my activity keeps me from exploring the deepness of solitude. I'm pretty good at being independent, doing things on my own, finding moments of solitude, but I do not often rest in it.

Resting in this place shows me my need for God, that I should depend on Him.