Tissue and glue...sort of...

My two favorite experimental results from tonight's art experiments. Playing with different kinds of paper and medium matte. Fun! Obviously, I liked the tissue paper best, though I also used some cardstock for each of these as well. I like the texture the tissue paper creates.

Swatches

Okay, so the experiment here was to just go through a bunch of magazines and find colors that you like, glue the "swatches" to paper, and then see what colors you tend to use the most. I found this to be an interesting exercise. I must admit, I do really like bold colors, red, yellow, orange, but I also really like the cool ones-- blues and greens. Most of my house is decorated in shades of green (my favorite color).

Art Experiments

I bought this art book a few weeks ago and it has experiments to try. So I tried one yesterday.

Church Search: Update

These last two months, I have visited six different churches. I am really drawn to one of them in particular, but there's this guy who goes there that I know, and I'm not very comfortable interacting with him. I feel like there are very few people I feel skeptical about, and he is one of them. I really like this church. But it's too small to avoid interacting with this guy. I feel really stupid or something for reacting this way, but I need to feel safe and comfortable wherever I decide to attend.

The church I currently attend comes in second to this one, and I've nearly convinced myself that it's where I want to be. My reasons for looking beyond this church were because I didn't feel like the community I wanted existed there, however, I feel like they are slowly improving in that area. I know that I could help facilitate that change, if I choose to be there.

But I'm still feeling uncertain. I am indecisive. Tired of trying new things. Tired of feeling like I'm in transition. I feel like the list of churches I came up with were the best possible options in town. I'm still sort of feeling like I still haven't found what I'm looking for... and I'm a little scared it doesn't really exist.

Should I disregard the weird guy at church and attend the church that I felt was the best fit for me at church #1 (am I being dumb?)? Choose to make a difference at church#2? Or try some more churches (potential church #3)?

I feel so confused...

Thoughts about and experiments in Christian meditation

One of the ideas frequently mentioned in the Bible is that of mediation. Just a few examples:

Do not let this book of the law depart from your mouth, meditate on it day and night...

Give ear to my words, Oh Lord, Consider my meditation...

I often feel like one of those hypocritical Christians because I pray so rarely. It often feels beyond my comprehension to sit down and "connect" to an entity that I do not fully understand. What I DO know is that I long for this connection, and that I am very out of practice in my ability to pray and/or meditate.

As I re-read the chapter on meditation in Richard Foster's Celebration of Discipline, I was reminded that people learn meditation by meditating. Christian meditation is really about making space to experience the presence of God. Foster writes:

What happens in meditation is that we create the emotional and spiritual space which allows Christ to construct an inner sanctuary in the heart (20).

Foster also makes a great connection between meditation and imagination. He writes:

Perhaps some rare individuals experience God through abstract contemplation alone, but most of us need to be more deeply rooted in our senses...Even more, the imagination helps to anchor our thoughts and center our attention (25).

One of the things I've realized lately is that I am also out of practice in using my imagination. For a long time, I have been squashing my dreams, hopes, and thus, also my creativity. Most people I know would describe me as a creative person, and being creative is something that I would say I value. However, I am experiencing a gap in my life (at the moment) in this area. The reality is that I am unable to be creative without using my imagination. It should come as no surprise then, that I've found I have difficulty being creative and finding things that inspire my creativity. I'm not certain what commentary in the world I've been listening to, but it hasn't been very positive or validating. Somehow, I have let the "voices in my head" tell me that imagining is silly, unproductive and a waste of time.

The truth is, that those who are the most imaginative and those who are the dreamers are really those who can most make a difference in the world if they choose to do so.

I think I'm ready to dust off my rusty imagination and see what may come of it. That, and start practicing some meditation in my life.