Rehearsal: Session - 2

This rehearsal was shorter than the other.

In the car after rehearsal...

Robyn: I have to admit I'm a little nervous about recording...
Michael: You know, I was too, but the first time I recorded with them it was really great. Nice and relaxed. You just show up and do exactly what you do in rehearsal.
Robyn: Yeah, that's my problem.
Michael: (laughs) I suppose it is hard to do what you do in rehearsal when you don't normally come to rehearsal...

I did better though. I've been really lazy today at work. I don't really have anything to do, so I ordered pizza for everyone, then we had a really long lunch. Later, I gave an impromptu cello lesson to my friend Brian in my office. I was practicing for the recording session this evening at work. It isn't really acceptable for me to goof off like this at work, but really, there's no one here and I really don't have much to do. I hope I play well and I hope that Garrett really likes what he hears tonight. I don't want him to regret the decision to let me play with them...and studio time is so valuable...I don't want to waste it!

Rehearsal: Session - 1

Rehearsal went well last night. It would take me an hour to get there if I drove by myself, but I carpooled with Michael.

We are going to try and record two songs on Thursday. One of the songs lends itself more to the cello than the other. It was only my first run-through, and I really wish I had even a raw recording to get these songs in my head. They are both a little unconventional...not predictable with the chords at all! Hopefully I'll do better tonight.

Michael and I had some great drive-time conversation about our friends who may have just started dating, how Christmas isn't Christmas without Michael Bolton singing Christmas carols, believing as a child, CS Lewis and his autobiography, whether people share their struggles with others in the church... we always say that we want people to be real, and if there is any place to admit that you are hurting, it is in the church. But I don't think that is the case. People also complain about the superficiality and hypocrisy of the people at church.

I know that I don't feel like I have a place there to admit when I'm struggling. And it isn't that I think I'll be judged, but I doubt whether sharing my struggles will do any good or whether people really want to hear and help.

My friend Anne, who used to live down the street from me, played Viola for us at the Christmas service last Sunday night. She is Mormon. Michael made some comment to her once about how Mormons are not Christian and it sparked a conversation between me and her about the differences in our faiths. Michael was wondering how similar or different a Mormon Christmas service would look. I told him we should all go to lunch when he gets back from vacation, and we can ask her.

I have another rehearsal tonight.

Christmas Spirit

I have not really been in the Christmas spirit...although my office window is decorated. Went to church last Sunday, even though I didn't really feel like it.

I guess I have sort of this love/hate relationship with holidays. I do not always look forward to them, but then I have a good time as I'm in the moment. I just hate the tension. I feel like I feel it the most in my family, and perhaps it is all in my head. Maybe I'm just imagining things.

I also don't really get as much of a break this year as I have in years past. But I'm glad I have a job. Seriously. We had our staff Christmas party today and got some fun gifts...slinkies, bouncy thingies...I gave everyone a kazoo. Who wouldn't want a kazoo? Some TV trivia cards, a calendar of cats, lots of candy, and a frother amongst other things.

I'll get there eventually.

Debt

I wish my financial debts could just be cancelled. I spent the better part of the drive from Long Beach to San Diego trying to work myself out of debt in my head. It is going to take a minimum of 6 months. I was trying to figure out if I could afford to put another car repair on my credit card. I could, but I don't want to. So I thought about an aggressive saving plan...start with the money before I repair the car. That's going to take at least three or four months of living very minimally...but I just want to be free.

Being in financial debt has given me new perspective on spiritual debt. We have a spiritual debt, and God paid it on the cross. We are free and that's so exciting. I wish my financial debt could be similarly cancelled.

The major difference between financial debt and spiritual debt is that you can work your way out of financial debt (most of the time). You can't exactly work your way out of spiritual debt. There's nothing we can do about it except pray to God and ask him to free us.

All I know is that I will be so excited when I am finally free of my financial debts, and I should be more excited that my spiritual debt has already been paid. I am grateful, I just haven't always acknowledged my spiritual debts or been as grateful as I should be that I am free.

Practice makes perfect

I practiced my cello last night. I am so rusty. I read an article this week about how 56 cellists tried out for a single professional position with the Minnesota Symphony. I would never make the cut. I do not love the music enough. At least I get paid sometimes.

I ran into a faculty member that I used to work with last year. She is in the process of writing a book and is speaking at various conferences. She told me that when she was teaching, she knew that she was disobeying God, even though some good things were happening. It made me think about disobedience in general, and how a person can really know if they are being disobedient to God. I suppose that God would make it abundantly clear, or the person would just know. But what if you don't?

I guess that's where the practice comes in. If I don't practice my cello everyday, my technique gets worse, and I can still play well, but I have to work harder at it. The music just does not have the same quality. I can tell the difference. It takes a lot of discipline to play well.

And it takes a similar kind of discipline to know the heart and mind of God. I do not always practice everyday as I should, but if I keep practicing, it will make a difference in the long-run.

Big dreams, baby steps

Garrett e-mailed me last week and asked if I would be interested in recording (cello) with his band. I told him, "heck yeah!" He e-mailed me back today and told me that rehearsals are next week and they are recording next Thursday. I didn't expect it to be this soon, but it makes sense.

I am going to be somewhat depressed if this does not work out somehow because somehow, I always get asked to play for people, and then they flake on me. Musicians...flakey.

But I love this band, they have a great sound, and I'm so glad I got asked to play with them! I am ecstatic. I'm waiting for a phone call from Garrett so that I can find out where the rehearsals are and where they are recording.

One of those things that just colored my day in a good way.

The vacation schedule

I'm pretty excited about New Year's. My brother Adam planned a get-together downtown San Diego for the evening. I'm excited. I haven't spent New Year's with the family for awhile. No parents. Yay! The only bummer is that Megan can't go. She isn't 21. Boo!

My rough week has ended. I'm back to my old relatively cheerful self and I got a nice Christmas bonus at work. I have a nice big project to work on during the next year, and I'm excited about it. Maybe I'll even ask for a raise.

I'm learning about how to invest financially, and that's a good thing. I want to save money. It just hasn't been happening very well. So now I'm taking a more active approach and maybe I'll be able to save for some longer term things that I would like to purchase.

We were able to work out a compromise, sort of, with my dad on Christmas. Normally on Christmas, we go to my mom's house on Christmas Eve, and dad's on Christmas day, at around 11am. This year, he wants us there at 10am. That's so early. Then we get an e-mail from my step-mom, with the day's schedule all written out, and a "by the way, get here at 9:30am." Adam, Megan, and I were all kind of upset. Duncan is playing in a bowl game too close to Christmas, so he won't be there with the rest of us. So I called dad and told him that Adam, Megan, and I had talked, and that we would be there at 10am and that we were upset that he didn't ask us first if 9:30am would be okay.

It worked out. He said okay. As if he had a choice.

Matchmaking

Hmmm...I just called a friend of mine, and turns out he's interested in one of my friends. It made me laugh. They have a lot in common, and I think they would have fun together. I don't know if she'll be interested...

Foggy

When I got to the library today, the temperature (according to the gauge on the reference desk) was 62.8! That's so cold for inside a building! One of the other librarians left a small space heater underneath the desk. I love it. So warm.

The humidity was 60% and mostly due to this eerie fog that rolled in last night. It was thick for a fog in CA. And I could hear the foghorns from the coast. I haven't heard foghorns in a long time.

Make that a rough week...

So I got in fender-bender tonight. My fault. I rear-ended the lady. I can't afford this. Not finacially, not physically...I'm broke in all senses of the word. The dental surgery is probably going to cost me a bunch. And I have no idea what the damages will be to my car. I think I'm looking at $1000 minimum. I wonder what my car is worth. I'm so mad at myself. Frustrated with life. I just want to give up. Due to dental and car issues, I'm going to be more than $1500 in the hole. I can't seem to save anything, and I'm not really buying a whole lot except for medical costs and car repairs. At this rate, I'm averaging about 1 car accident a year. I really hope this doesn't happen to me for the rest of my life. I feel like I just can't get ahead. At least I don't have to rent a car. Since Megan can't drive right now, I borrowed hers.

I want a do-over for the week, starting last Friday.

Tuesday

I'm starting to feel better. My co-workers tell me I looked kind of bad yesterday cause I was still swelling. I took the afternoon off. It was funny cause my roommate has a horrid cold right now, so we were both home at the same time, drugged up (she's on Nyquil and I'm on pain meds) watching Dr. Phil and Oprah. I did feel a lot better this morning, maybe because I got some rest. But I still feel like a gapped-tooth wench even though the gap isn't that visible.

Rough weekend

It is only Friday, but it has already been a rough weekend. Went in to get some gum tissue removed this morning, and the doctor ended up pulling one of my teeth out because it was cracked. I'm a little depressed and hurting right now. My mouth is still bleeding. Losing my teeth is one of my worst fears. And it has come to pass. I survived. But it hurts.

The tooth-fairy owes me big for this one.

Wow, it's December

These last few weeks have been really busy. I feel like I'm stuck back in those weeks in college where "breaks" just don't exist, unless you choose to procrastinate. I have had a ton of homework in my French class. I'm finding that as I learn more everyday, it is becoming harder to remember those really easy lessons that we learned in the beginning. I have an oral French exam tomorrow. My prof will probably ask me about what I did over Thanksgiving. So here's the English translation:

On Thursday, Megan and I drove to San Dimas, and when we got there, we tried to take a nap. The nap was short-lived because my brother came home and woke us up. We chatted with him, and then we all went over to my Dad's house, where we decorated the Christmas tree, and watched football until my extended family came over. Normally I don't really like holidays, and I still got asked how I like my job (I hate that question...because they only want to criticize) and so I don't really give any extended responses. But my crazy cousin wasn't so crazy this year. He and I both kind of felt the same way...that we didn't really know our family, and that was sad. So all the cousins went around the table and we shared what was going on. It was really good. As a result, this thanksgiving was better than usual.

Then I went and spent some good quality time in the bay area with Laurel and Daniel, her fiance. You know, when you don't have a lot of money, and your friend's boyfriend pays for his girlfriend and her friend when they go out, well, that's really cool. He's a good guy.

So my break ended and although I was tired, I was content. Hopefully Christmas will be just as smooth.