History

When I was in junior high, I went to summer camp. Every morning, we got to pick some kind of skill to learn from one of the counselors. One morning, I picked juggling. We practiced throwing and catching first one ball, then two. I practiced that motion for years before I realized how to add in the third ball. So yes. I know how to juggle.

A different morning, I picked cartooning. It was so fun! It was just a basic session on how to alter things like hair, eyes, ears, noses, mouths, eyebrows... everyone had their own style too. I created this character there who was supposed to be a door-to-door vacuum cleaner salesman. He was really tall and thin, had a long narrow face with tall, narrow, curly hair. He also had a mustache. Ever since, I have had sort of this latent fascination with comics. Since that conversation that I had with my physicist friend (about the vortex), I have been trying to think of other ideas for comics. It is definitely challenging.

What I'm finding is that the sketching is a great stress reliever. When I sketch, I am solely focused on the story I'm trying to tell, or the idea I'm trying to express. Plus I'm not very good at drawing. I'm not sure that I'll be able to come up with ideas consistently, but I'm gonna try to post more comics here when I think of them. Today, I drew a strip and a self-portrait. Since I don't have a scanner, they'll have to wait until I take them to get scanned somewhere. I'm having fun.

Step away from the physicist...

Actual conversation. I DO actually know what a vortex is. I just said the wrong thing.

Self-Evaluation Exercise

I recently was asked to ask ten people the following question: What shows up when I show up? What do I bring into a room?

The first three responses I had to get in the span of about ten minutes. The rest I've been gathering along the way. I pulled out the most common qualities mentioned by my friends and family:

• conversation (5)
• friendliness (3)
• calmness (2)
• comfort (2)
• deepness (2)
• home (2)
• humor (2)
• including (2)
• intelligence (2)
• peace (2)
• put others at ease (2)
• realness (2)
• safety (2)
• welcoming (2)

I actually have to figure out one more person to call.

Anxiety Dream

I dreamed last night that I got asked to babysit a small child, less than a year old. So I was watching him and it was good, but for some reason I just left. It was like I forgot I was babysitting. When I returned, the mom and her friend were (understandably) upset.

That was the basic plot. Other elements of this dream included a weird house. It was sort of like a mansion but there were all these apartment type suites inside. And when I went back to find the kid, I could not find him because the house was so big.

After I "forgot" about the kid, I left the house. Once I remembered, I had to walk up this giant hill. The whole time I'm in this dream, I was so tired I could not keep my eyes open.

I tried looking up what some of these items mean and they do sort of line up with how I'm feeling about life right now.

Babysitting = responsibility
House = life
Tiredness = physical exhaustion, boredom, monotony, or tiredness of life or a particular situation

Fear

So I had a discussion last night about fear. I definitely fear failure, and after thinking about it more today, I would have to say that I also fear being incompetent in areas where I feel that I should have competence. Because of my fears, I do not take as many risks as maybe I should. I'm realizing that about myself though, and I'm hoping that I can begin to face them down.

An update

I just finished my LAST "real" research paper. I may have to write a little more for my portfolio/thesis, but that will not be nearly as difficult. I'm starting to think a lot about the transitions in the next couple of months. I'm a little scared. I am looking forward to them, but change is always a bit frightening.

I am playing cello tomorrow night with a band that is new to me. I'm only playing two songs, but the experience so far has been really fun and positive. I'm having fun. If my job search ends with a job in San Diego, then I'll probably commit more fully to this band. They're good and I feel like their lead guy is respectful and talented. My life these days revolves around music and school.

Last week, I had to finish that research paper and this week I have two rehearsals and a performance. I've been singing at church on Sunday nights and it rocks! Plus they pay me, so technically, that makes me a professional singer! This cracks me up. I would do it for free, because I have such a good time doing it, but it is also really affirming to be paid to do music. There's no better feeling in the world than to get paid for something you love. So I'm having a good time.

Hope everyone's doing well!

Walking in SD

So I really like to walk a lot! One of my favorite places to go in San Diego is at Mission Bay. There's lots of parking and the path has mile markers to tell me how far I've gone.

Three stories for ya about walking at Mission Bay:

1. I was walking near the hotel part of the Bay and walked past a crow. I have always been fascinated by crows. Many of my favorite authors write about crows-- about their intelligence, sense of humor, and tendency for hiding shiny objects. Well, as I was walking, I watched this crow fly down and pick up this monstorous chocolate chip cookie. The crow had the whole thing. This really made me laugh.
2. One day, while walking past one of the bathrooms, I happened to look inside a vending machine. In the dispenser, there was a pigeon. Nesting. What I was thinking: Smart bird. It was out of the wind and defensible to all predators except for humans.
   
3. The last time I went to the beach, I saw a girl sort of running backwards near me. All of a sudden, I heard her yell, WATCH OUT! YOU'RE GONNA HIT THAT GIRL! I turned and looked, and sure enough, her husband or boyfriend had thrown a long spiral pass with a nerf football, and it was flying straight at me. So I reached up and knocked it out of the air. I bobbled it a little but caught it in the end. They were both impressed with my catching skills.

I love walking.

My brother's dream

My brother just called me to tell me this dream he had. It fired him up. Basically, it was about me getting picked on. He got really upset and tried to protect me.

The weird thing was that the situation was very accurate and had elements of truth. He said it was really vivid and that he thought it had actually happened. The reason why is because it really did border on reality. This situation was not very far from certain experiences and situations that I've had. I had no idea that he even noticed when these situations occur.

I thanked him for standing up for me and protecting me in his dream. He laughed.

The situation he dreamed about could actually happen in real life. And in all seriousness, if this actually happens in real life, I know that he really would stand up for me and protect me.