A Short Story:
One day while we were hanging out, Laurel looked at me and said, “You’re going to be in my wedding someday.”
I had only recently met Laurel, and had known her for maybe two weeks. People always thought we were related because we had the same color hair and eyes, and though I was taller, she wasn’t too much shorter than me. We lived in the same dorm and had initially met at a Campus Crusade meeting.
I kind of looked at her, perplexed, “You don’t even know me that well, you can’t possibly know what the future holds.”
“I just know,” she said.
“We’ll see,” I responded. This really confused me. I thought it was cool that she thought we would become good friends, but I do not let very many people get close to me and I was rather skeptical.
We later became roommates, confidants, and good friends. I couldn’t ask for a better friend. And as it turns out, she was right. I did end up being in her wedding. I felt privileged to be a part of it and see a deeply held dream come true for her.
While it takes two people to maintain a relationship, Laurel was the first person to ever seriously pursue me as a friend. It is difficult to say why some people become friends and others are friends for a time and then move on, or why some people never become close at all.
All I know is that Laurel and I shared a passion for Taco Bell, good literature, and a desire to know God more. Laurel always badgered me into telling her what I was really thinking…again, one of the only people in my life to challenge me in this way.
Laurel, I have loved being your friend, and I thank you for pursuing me as a friend those first few weeks we met. College just wouldn’t have been the same without you, and I really don’t think that I would have met anyone else who could have filled the role you have filled in my life. Life would be much lonelier without you. I’m glad I get to be a part of a dream that you have held in your heart since I first met you and though we used to tease you about it, I know I never doubted that you would be married some day…I just took issue with the “when” J. Congratulations.
Love,
Robyn
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
Thursday, March 17, 2005
My evening
Went to my friend's apartment to do laundry. We were invited over next door for dinner, which was awesome! The girls we met were so nice. I also managed to get attacked by the laundry machine, and I suppose two loads completed are better than none. I might regret staying up so late tonight, but I had a good time, and it is Thursday tomorrow, and I have Friday off.
Hardships
I'm really struggling with my finances right now. It's so hard to get a bill in the mail that doubles your debt. I keep trying to think of ways to pay...should I pay it off as quickly as possible? Even if I have to sacrifice a lot just to pay? Or should I pay it off little by little because I can't afford to sacrifice what I think I can?
I talked to my dad about it. I never ask him for anything. I asked if I could use one of my savings bonds to pay off the debt, and told him that I would be open to hearing any suggestions he might have.
I'm so tired of owing money, I just cannot seem to get ahead in life. Its so frustrating!!! I cannot succeed in any of my financial goals unless I pay off the debt.
I didn't realize how affected I was by this until a few tears broke loose at my small group last night. I'm really stressed out about it.
But I know that God will provide. He has always been faithful in the past. My brother even offered to help if I needed it, and a friend of mine from small group offered to help me in small ways. It reminded me that people do care, and that I can still have hope for the future, in spite of major financial set-backs.
I talked to my dad about it. I never ask him for anything. I asked if I could use one of my savings bonds to pay off the debt, and told him that I would be open to hearing any suggestions he might have.
I'm so tired of owing money, I just cannot seem to get ahead in life. Its so frustrating!!! I cannot succeed in any of my financial goals unless I pay off the debt.
I didn't realize how affected I was by this until a few tears broke loose at my small group last night. I'm really stressed out about it.
But I know that God will provide. He has always been faithful in the past. My brother even offered to help if I needed it, and a friend of mine from small group offered to help me in small ways. It reminded me that people do care, and that I can still have hope for the future, in spite of major financial set-backs.
Monday, March 14, 2005
Girls' Weekend Out
This weekend was so great! I went to Napa with Laurel and her sisters to celebrate her last few weeks of singleness. We had a good time of relaxing, sharing, and fun. I'm so tired right now, but it was all worth it. I can't wait to sleep. I don't want to go to bed too early because then I'll be awake at the crack of dawn.
Wednesday, March 09, 2005
A Night Out
My date diary:
2:30pm
My date suggests via e-mail (I don’t do so well with the phone) that we go to a jazz club. Seeing as how my roommate and I had made plans to go see her boy play in his band later that night, I emailed him, “no, let’s just do dinner.” I also tried to convince him to go to Baja Fresh, one of my all-time favorites, but he wanted to sit-down somewhere.
4:30pm
Getting nervous, and its time to leave work. I decide on my way home that I need to take a walk before I leave cause it will clear my mind and give me time to convince myself to be nice, talkative, sincere, and less reserved.
5:00pm
I arrive at my apartment, change, and go for a walk around a large block, to the park and back.
My mantra: “Just be nice. We can be friends. Don’t be so serious.”
5:50pm
After a good self-pep-talk, I arrive back at my apartment all sweaty and decide to take a quick shower before meeting this guy at the restaurant.
6:10pm
If I had a choice, I would wear my old jeans, favorite long-sleeved shirt, and hat. Knowing that my date is from Texas and will probably wear a button-up shirt, I decide to go in jeans, an old polo, and a brown jacket.
6:20pm
Finally out the door. Headed to Mission Valley for dinner. I’m supposed to be there at 6:30pm.
6:29pm
Driving around the parking lot. The people who designed parking lots in San Diego were idiots!
6:30pm
Still driving…
6:32pm
Still driving…
6:33pm
Aha! A spot! But its not in front of the restaurant. I don’t really care, so I get out and walk over.
6:35pm
Only 5 minutes late. And my date is already there. He says hi and greets me with a hug longer than I expected. The waitress leads us over to a table. I start to pull out the chair and sit, but my date doesn’t like the table because it is in front of the server station…. So he asks the hostess if we can move. She says yes, and we moved. To a quieter corner table.
6:43pm
We start having a conversation about stuff. Topics of conversation included my Spring Break, his travel plans, rehearsal schedule (he’s a singer) and my orchestral involvement.
6:50pm
We order drinks (non-alcoholic of course!) and look over the menu.
6:55pm
The waitress comes back with our drinks and we order. I got chicken tacos. My favorite!
6:57pm
Conversation continues. Topics include: His spiritual gifts and personality (he’s an extrovert…this is making more sense to me now…I wonder if he understands the fact that I’m more introverted…), and my personality and spiritual gifts (I’m a creative communicator!)
7:10pm – 7:35pm
Food arrives. He prays. We eat and continue to talk about: My opportunities to be more creative at work, his interest in arts, my interest in water, how I almost killed myself once in a Catamaran.
7:36pm
Waitress asks if we want dessert. We decline and she leaves the bill. We continue to talk, only I’m wondering why we aren’t leaving yet.
7:40pm
My date, “Oh yeah, before I forget, here’s a CD I think you might like.”
I take the CD and look it over, “What is it?”
My date, “It’s latin jazz… there’s some songs in Spanish, Portuguese, and French I think too. I don’t know if its your style, but its mellow.”
Me, “Okay, I’ll give it a listen.”
7:40pm
My date, “I’ll pick this up,” referring to the bill.
Me, “are you sure, I’ve got money.”
My date, “Well, its up to you.”
Awkward! I ended up letting him pick up the bill.
We chat a little longer.
7:45pm
I look at my watch and say, “I need to get going.” And he says, “okay.” So he makes a gesture for me to walk ahead and we walk outside behind these kids who were singing a potentially made-up, very repetitive song about birthday balloons, which they were carrying out the door.
7:47pm
I angle toward my car. Can’t find it. This never happens to me! And my date is a witness to my momentary memory lapse.
7:48pm
Figure out that I’m two aisles farther than my car, and its parked further back than I thought it was.
7:50pm
Thanked my date for dinner, and gave him a hug.
7:51pm
Got in my car and drove away. So glad to be home. Yay!
2:30pm
My date suggests via e-mail (I don’t do so well with the phone) that we go to a jazz club. Seeing as how my roommate and I had made plans to go see her boy play in his band later that night, I emailed him, “no, let’s just do dinner.” I also tried to convince him to go to Baja Fresh, one of my all-time favorites, but he wanted to sit-down somewhere.
4:30pm
Getting nervous, and its time to leave work. I decide on my way home that I need to take a walk before I leave cause it will clear my mind and give me time to convince myself to be nice, talkative, sincere, and less reserved.
5:00pm
I arrive at my apartment, change, and go for a walk around a large block, to the park and back.
My mantra: “Just be nice. We can be friends. Don’t be so serious.”
5:50pm
After a good self-pep-talk, I arrive back at my apartment all sweaty and decide to take a quick shower before meeting this guy at the restaurant.
6:10pm
If I had a choice, I would wear my old jeans, favorite long-sleeved shirt, and hat. Knowing that my date is from Texas and will probably wear a button-up shirt, I decide to go in jeans, an old polo, and a brown jacket.
6:20pm
Finally out the door. Headed to Mission Valley for dinner. I’m supposed to be there at 6:30pm.
6:29pm
Driving around the parking lot. The people who designed parking lots in San Diego were idiots!
6:30pm
Still driving…
6:32pm
Still driving…
6:33pm
Aha! A spot! But its not in front of the restaurant. I don’t really care, so I get out and walk over.
6:35pm
Only 5 minutes late. And my date is already there. He says hi and greets me with a hug longer than I expected. The waitress leads us over to a table. I start to pull out the chair and sit, but my date doesn’t like the table because it is in front of the server station…. So he asks the hostess if we can move. She says yes, and we moved. To a quieter corner table.
6:43pm
We start having a conversation about stuff. Topics of conversation included my Spring Break, his travel plans, rehearsal schedule (he’s a singer) and my orchestral involvement.
6:50pm
We order drinks (non-alcoholic of course!) and look over the menu.
6:55pm
The waitress comes back with our drinks and we order. I got chicken tacos. My favorite!
6:57pm
Conversation continues. Topics include: His spiritual gifts and personality (he’s an extrovert…this is making more sense to me now…I wonder if he understands the fact that I’m more introverted…), and my personality and spiritual gifts (I’m a creative communicator!)
7:10pm – 7:35pm
Food arrives. He prays. We eat and continue to talk about: My opportunities to be more creative at work, his interest in arts, my interest in water, how I almost killed myself once in a Catamaran.
7:36pm
Waitress asks if we want dessert. We decline and she leaves the bill. We continue to talk, only I’m wondering why we aren’t leaving yet.
7:40pm
My date, “Oh yeah, before I forget, here’s a CD I think you might like.”
I take the CD and look it over, “What is it?”
My date, “It’s latin jazz… there’s some songs in Spanish, Portuguese, and French I think too. I don’t know if its your style, but its mellow.”
Me, “Okay, I’ll give it a listen.”
7:40pm
My date, “I’ll pick this up,” referring to the bill.
Me, “are you sure, I’ve got money.”
My date, “Well, its up to you.”
Awkward! I ended up letting him pick up the bill.
We chat a little longer.
7:45pm
I look at my watch and say, “I need to get going.” And he says, “okay.” So he makes a gesture for me to walk ahead and we walk outside behind these kids who were singing a potentially made-up, very repetitive song about birthday balloons, which they were carrying out the door.
7:47pm
I angle toward my car. Can’t find it. This never happens to me! And my date is a witness to my momentary memory lapse.
7:48pm
Figure out that I’m two aisles farther than my car, and its parked further back than I thought it was.
7:50pm
Thanked my date for dinner, and gave him a hug.
7:51pm
Got in my car and drove away. So glad to be home. Yay!
Monday, March 07, 2005
Resting and Waiting
How important it is to rest! We talked about the Sabbath on Sunday, and how important it is to take the time to rest.
Bob (the pastor) advised us all to take the time to say "no" to things that we normally say "yes" to and to say "yes" to the things that we normally have to say "no" to. I thought that was good advice.
I am totally appreciating Spring Break, because it is a time of rest for me even though there are no students. It is very quiet here, and peaceful.
I am looking forward to this weekend, wherein I will be spending time with Laurel and her sisters to celebrate with her as she prepares for her wedding in 3 weeks.
Right after Ryan left to go overseas, I got sort of sad. I really miss him. And because he was gone, I just let it be. Then he sent me an email a few weeks later and reminded me that even though he lives farther away, we can still communicate. It was sort of a "Hey, I'm still here for you, how are you doing" email.
This is sort of how I feel about Laurel's marriage... I find myself mourning a little for our friendship because things are changing. But I have to remind myself that even though this is a big change in her life, she is not going to change that much, and even though things will be slightly different, we will always be friends.
Bob (the pastor) advised us all to take the time to say "no" to things that we normally say "yes" to and to say "yes" to the things that we normally have to say "no" to. I thought that was good advice.
I am totally appreciating Spring Break, because it is a time of rest for me even though there are no students. It is very quiet here, and peaceful.
I am looking forward to this weekend, wherein I will be spending time with Laurel and her sisters to celebrate with her as she prepares for her wedding in 3 weeks.
Right after Ryan left to go overseas, I got sort of sad. I really miss him. And because he was gone, I just let it be. Then he sent me an email a few weeks later and reminded me that even though he lives farther away, we can still communicate. It was sort of a "Hey, I'm still here for you, how are you doing" email.
This is sort of how I feel about Laurel's marriage... I find myself mourning a little for our friendship because things are changing. But I have to remind myself that even though this is a big change in her life, she is not going to change that much, and even though things will be slightly different, we will always be friends.
Wednesday, March 02, 2005
More Communication Issues
I have been really worked up by all the thoughts in my head. I have had recent doubts of my introvertedness, but as I have taken steps outside to sort of observe the way I function, I really am an introvert. Take tonight for example, Bible Study was cancelled, and although I was a little bummed out, I was able to finish a book I borrowed from the library, and I'm feeling way more relaxed than I have in awhile. It's a good feeling.
However, today wasn't my best day. I woke up feeling grumpy and tired, and then my coworker sent me an irritating e-mail, and I wrote her back. She thought I was being mean, and then when we talked about it verbally she still thought I was being mean. I don't know what else I could have done to make her think that I wasn't being mean... she pushed the issue, when it could have been dropped and then I told her exactly why I was irritated. It was sort of messy, but I'm totally fine with the way things turned out even though she walked away in a huff. I apologized a little later but she only hears what she wants. I don't think she understands why I got irritated, but won't listen to why. Anyway, makes for a good discussion.
However, today wasn't my best day. I woke up feeling grumpy and tired, and then my coworker sent me an irritating e-mail, and I wrote her back. She thought I was being mean, and then when we talked about it verbally she still thought I was being mean. I don't know what else I could have done to make her think that I wasn't being mean... she pushed the issue, when it could have been dropped and then I told her exactly why I was irritated. It was sort of messy, but I'm totally fine with the way things turned out even though she walked away in a huff. I apologized a little later but she only hears what she wants. I don't think she understands why I got irritated, but won't listen to why. Anyway, makes for a good discussion.
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