Music fun!

I have had a great couple of weeks. Creating that collage really unlocked my creativity, and my ideas are starting to flow again. I've been hiking, playing music, and recording. I have also been teaching people about the library at work. So I've been doing a lot of things that I enjoy, and it is amazing how much of a difference that makes in my well-being.

I am excited about October, which is my favorite month, because my sister is coming to visit and I have two or three gigs lined up with a guitar player I know. I'm really excited because I think he's talented, because he is serious about the music and because he is letting me be a part of it.

You know, as a musician, most of the time I feel that I don't play all that well. The guitarist sent me a live recording of what we worked on last week, and I'm amazed. I was in tune the whole time! Which honestly, was more than I expected. I'm surprised that we sound so good together. I rarely "hear" myself live, mostly because I'm caught up in the moment and anxious about playing things right. But in hearing that recording, I realized that I am a good musician. I know, I know, you would all tell me that I AM a good musician, and not that I don't believe you, but I still doubt myself frequently. All that to say I'm starting to embrace my identity as a "professional musician" which still sounds weird to me, but that's what I am.

Also, on Monday, I got to do some vocal recordings, one of my original songs, a song that my recording friend wrote wherein he needed female backing vocals, and a cover of Bizarre Love Triangle by New Order which has the chorus:

everytime I see you fallin'
I get down on my knees and pray
I'm waiting for that final moment
You'll say the words that I can't say

Basically, my friend decided to record guitar, piano, and bass to cover this song, and then informed me that I needed to sing it. He did a great job with it, and I'm really excited to see how it gets remixed with my voice added. It's gonna be good! I'll post it somewhere online when it's done.

Recording Session

Things are going well. Last Saturday, I had the opportunity to record a song for a local band called Lessons from Zeke. The session went well I thought, I was able to knock out the song in about an hour. I did three takes total. Awesome!

We recorded at DML studios. Mike (Lessons from Zeke) had initially told me that we were going to record at this guys house, but it turned out that the garage had been converted into one of the most professional home studios I've seen!

The guy who recorded us is well known and respected in the music community, so I was surprised to find out that I was recording at his studio.

I had a great time and look forward to hearing the final product.

Musician Face-Off!

Actual conversation with Mikey, the drummer, this morning at church.

Instruments

I changed out the strings on my electric guitar today. The guitar does not actually belong to me, but has been in my possession for awhile. I'm not sure that my friend is ever going to ask for it back!

What I realized is that instruments are very sensitive to change. It takes time for the strings to settle in. Until they do, I constantly have to re-tune the instrument. The strings need time to stretch out and regulate to the appropriate tension on the instrument.

For my cello, any little change in the humidity or temperature really affects the instrument. When it is dry, my tuning pegs tend to dry out a little, contract, and then I find loose strings on my instrument. Cellos are slightly more difficult to tune than guitars.

Once a stringed instrument is re-tuned in these circumstances, it may not necessarily hold the pitch and the musician must constantly pay attention to readjust the tones so that they are the right ones.

I find a metaphor lurking in this post about people, change, and habits. Habits will only change if we notice them and constantly adjust. It is our nature to just settle back in to where we were before, even when we KNOW it causes dissonance in our lives. I personally am finding myself more resistant to change than I thought I was. I find it is quite the challenge to embrace change rather than resist.

Collaboration

A new friend of mine came over on Saturday and we jammed a bit. He plays guitar. I met him through the Psalms project. We are a part of a group that is studying Psalm 91 with the goal of creating art together for the community.

I've been trying to pinpoint an idea for weeks now, and I've been trying to write things down. My friend is a fantastic guitar player. He asked my how my project was going and I asked him how his was going and we just started collaborating. He started just playing some basic progressions on guitar and I came up with lyrics and a melody line. I like it so far. The words are almost word for word from the Psalm. We have our first verse solidified:

He who dwells in the shelter
of the Most High
Will find rest in the shadow
of the Almighty
I will say of the Lord, He is my refuge,
I will say of the Lord, He is my refuge,
my fortress,
My God in whom I trust
--------------------
I'm still working through the second verse, but it will be something like this:

Surely he will save you
from your enemies
With his wings he'll protect you
And you will rest
His faithfulness will be your shield
His faithfulness will be your shield
Your rampart
A protection you can trust

The Music in Me

Concentrating
But not thinking
My fingers move of their own volition
My body tenses
My mind is free
The physicality of memory moves me
Outside myself, but inside
the music encompasses me

Psalms Project

Psalm 91

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will rest in the shadow of the Almighty
I will say of the Lord, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God in whom I trust."

Surely He will save you from the fowler's snare
and from the deadly pestilence.
He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge;
his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
You will not fear the terror of night,
nor the arrow that flies by day,
nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,
nor the plague that destroys at midday.
A thousand may fall at your side,
ten thousand at your right hand,
but it will not come near you.
You will only observe with your eyes and see the punishment of the wicked.

If you make the Most High your dwelling--
even the Lord, who is my refuge--
then no harm will befall you,
no disaster will come near your tent.
For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways;
they will lift you up in their hands,
so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.
You will tread upon the lion and the cobra;
you will trample the great lion and the serpent.

"Because he loves me," says the Lord, "I will rescue him;
I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.
He will call upon me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble,
I will deliver him and honor him.
With long life will I satisfy him and show him my salvation."

I am studying this Psalm with a group of artists from my church with the goal of creating something creative or artistic as a result of our study and meditation. I have not decided what to create yet, but I have a feeling my project will have something to do with words.

A Reflection on Psalm 91

When I read this Psalm, I actually feel like I'm sinking deep within my soul to a place of rest. I feel more centered or balanced and gain a confidence perspective of my life and the activity and people in it. Too often I flit from thing to thing, from person to person and my activity keeps me from exploring the deepness of solitude. I'm pretty good at being independent, doing things on my own, finding moments of solitude, but I do not often rest in it.

Resting in this place shows me my need for God, that I should depend on Him.

A new band?

I've been playing music with this guy over the last month or so. I've really enjoyed getting to know him and playing with him this summer. He is so endearing. He is really worried that I don't like it or that I'm just going to up and quit on him. This is because I haven't fully committed. I can't.

He is a big dreamer and I think he has talent. He is definitely investing in his music. I think I'm walking into this situation with a little more aloofness and skepticism than I did the last time. I also think that this guy I've been playing with is more sensitive to emotion than a lot of guys I know. He is probably sensing a bit of my aloofness. I'm also a very different kind of girl and I think he may also be having difficulty reading me. These two things alone I think would be worrisome.

He wants me to play a show in the middle of August. That's what we've been working toward. I have one song down for sure and one that's almost ready.

Affirmation

I got to sing at my favorite church service on Sunday. I cannot express how affirming it is to just be up there and be a part of the music. I really enjoyed it--the band was rockin'!!! We all got some great compliments from the congregation. It really helped me start the week with a great attitude.

Music

At the last show I did with my former band, I met a guy who was vitally interested in talking with me about playing cello for him. He emailed me last week and we met up after work yesterday to just talk about music. It was really good and somewhat affirming.

Miscommunication

I'm having a rough week. After getting dropped by my band, I get a call from my dad who is upset because he didn't know I was going to New York for my cousin's wedding. After talking it over with everyone, I figured out that there were a lot of assumptions being made by everyone involved. Frankly, it just slipped my mind to let my parents know that I would be there. I'm really frustrated with everything in my life right now.

I want to make music so badly, and I'm feeling adrift. I have nowhere to play. I keep working to promote my instrument and then subsequently work myself out of positions. I started playing cello at this rad church last summer, but because of my schedule during the year, I had to drop that band. They liked the cello so much that they hired a full-time cellist. So I won't get to play with them this summer. Ironic.

I'm playing at a talent show this weekend. I'm playing the Prelude from Bach Unaccompanied Cello Suite #2. Bach wrote six suites for the cello, and every cellist learns them. Each suite has six movements, so there are 36 movements total.

I've always said that good cellists are always slightly depressed. I was debating between the Prelude from Suite 2, and a Gigue, which is a dance, and by nature is happier and a little more showy. I decided to play the Prelude instead because I have never performed it-- will probably never again have the opportunity to perform it because it is a sad piece. However, I think it is my favorite Prelude.

I should be able to play it well as it reflects my current state of mind at the moment.

Stories from the Studio

I recently met this guy after one of my band's shows. Let's just say he's a friend of a friend of a friend. We talked for an hour about fun, intellectual things. Turns out we have a lot in common, and I have been hoping that he would make an appearance at a show in the future. He has not yet made an appearance at any of the other shows we've played.

At the studio on Friday, I was talking with Nate's aunt. She had noticed that I was talking with this guy, and turns out he's good friends with her son. She was thinking that we (her son's friend and I) were getting along really well. She's throwing a barbeque in a few weeks and she's going to try and get her son's friend there. Awesome! Look at me, doing the whole social networking thing!

Staff Paper

I've decided that I really want to attempt composing a piece for my string trio. Perhaps it will turn into a quartet. My friend Kyle wrote this song for guitar, and I'm going to try to arrange that first and see how it goes. So I bought some staff paper (blank music paper) today. It is thick and I like it because the lines are not super dark. I'm excited. I think I'm going to try and work on it tonight. It will be a challenge, but what a great piece it could be. I can hear the potential in it. Depending on what I come up with, it might stay true to the guitar part, but I can hear other melodies in my head on top of it, so it may morph into something slightly different.

I have always loved stationary and art supplies. I think it is because I like the idea of being creative. One of my favorite places as a kid was this lady's house. She had an art studio behind her garage and would teach art lessons to kids after school. She had construction paper, canvas, art paper, all kinds of paints, clay, markers, crayons, charcoals, watercolors, you name it, she had it. I always had the hardest time choosing what I wanted to work on and gravitated towards the clay. I have quite a few clay animals that I made when I was in first grade from her class. I loved the potential for creativity. That's what I see when I look at my nice, clean, blank pieces of staff paper: undiscovered melody.

Ironic

I was just telling my friend Cathy about how I had to play Ave Maria as a cello solo at the wedding, and about how I had only heard it all the way through twice in my life because I don't really like it...

I was at Burger King at the mall this morning where there is also an ice rink. Guess what one of the skaters was skating to? That's right. Ave Maria.

Bittersweet

Last night was my last night playing with the Harbor Uptown band for awhile. I will miss them so much! Playing with them has been the highlight of my week through the summer.

From an email we (the band) got from our worship leader guy today:Got lots of gushy feedback about the music last night. Someone even put a note in the offering box saying how much they loved the cello solo in Jordan's Stormy Banks. You guys do such an outstanding job I am just bedazzled. You ALL are the best one!

To all of you at Harbor Uptown: Thanks for an awesome summer and creating a wonderful example of a worshipful community. I will miss you tremendously, and will be counting down the months (9!) until I get to come back!And to whoever loved my cello solo in "Jordan's Stormy Banks," and wrote it down in the offering box, thank you! This compliment/comment made today even better.

Music

I am meeting a few more people who are creative in ways I did not expect. This is exciting. Until now, I have never had such a burning desire to create and to create well. It is difficult to create things of meaning or beauty. I cannot usually create unless I have a really good idea or unless I have some inspiration.

I really want to be in a band, or at least be able to create collaboratively with a purpose. I wish I had more talent.

Band Stuff

All the people in the band at church are pretty talented. I knew they were talented, but what I realized today is that at least three members have been in bands that have toured and that have gotten a small degree of national publicity.

I love my band.

Nerves

So, I just practiced my cello for an hour. And now the nerve in my index finger on my left hand is super sensitive. It feels like there's a spring in it. Every time I touch something, the nerve "bounces" in my finger. Kind of like when you hit your funny bone in your elbow, and it vibrates. Yeah, except in my index finger...and its not going away yet...

Music I listen to

Every once in awhile, I get captivated by a song. It doesn't happen very often, where I hear a song that grabs my attention and I want to buy the album as a result. I prefer to wait until I realize that I like at least half the songs on an album before I purchase it. One of the only times I bought an album for one song was when I bought Dizzy Up the Girl by the Goo Goo Dolls because of the song "Iris."

"Iris" has a chorus that goes like this,

And I don't want the world to see me,
cause I don't think that they'd understand,
when everything's made to be broken,
I just want you to know who I am.

Plus it has a pretty cool cello part. Anyway, it happened to me again, where I heard a song that just captivated my attention and I immediately wanted to buy the song. I didn't even know it was the Goo Goo Dolls until it came on the radio and I happened to be on the phone with my friend who actually knows a lot of songs and she told me that it was a song by them. The song is "Better Days," and again, it has good lyrics and a great cello part. So I bought the album today, and I love it. Everytime I hear "Better Days," it makes me smile. I think it has been on the radio since around Christmas, because it is sort of a Christmas song, but I don't care. I could listen to it over and over again. And I have. Here's the second verse and chorus:

And it's someplace simple where we could live
And something only you can give
And thats faith and trust and peace while we're alive
And the one poor child that saved this world
And there's 10 million more who probably could
If we all just stopped and said a prayer for them

So take these words
And sing out loud
Cause everyone is forgiven now
Cause tonight's the night the world begins again

I could probably play the cello part. It is very cool. The rest of the album isn't bad either.

Opera

Went to the opera tonight. It was a tragedy. No. Not the fact that I went to the opera... the opera was a tragedy.

The lead female character goes mad in the third act and kills her husband on their wedding night because she was forced to marry him while she had pledged her love to another man, and basically, all the main characters die a la Romeo and Juliet. Sort of.

Well, in the intermission right before the third act, I heard the flute player play taps (the military "all is quiet, good night" song, usually played by a trumpet or bugle).
That was funny. Cause basically, everyone in the opera was doomed.

Also, have you ever noticed that whenever someone is dying in musicals, operas, movies, or TV, the main death theme is played by a solo cello or by the cello section? It makes me laugh every time.

The cello is a sad instrument. Which is why I'll never be a great cellist. I'm not depressed enough. Yet.