It feels so good to have the housing situation under control. I'm done with my old place and into the new completely with nothing else to worry about. I called my parents to find out when I can move my piano down. I'm so looking forward to that day.
I went to Knott's Scary Farm last weekend and it was really fun. I didn't think it was very scary. It was more disturbing than anything else, and it was fun because of the people I went with. I found out that the guy who invited me along went to the same youth group I did in Jr. High and High School, and we know a lot of the same people even though we didn't know each other. I did recognize his brother though, who graduated high school a year ahead of me. It was one of those small world connections.
I also made a new friend (sort of). I had been meaning to try and hang out with this girl more often, but I really haven't been able to spend that much time with other people over the last month anyway. We really have a lot of the same interests and I really like her a lot. Now that I have moved, we're sort of neighbors. Anyway, she came to Knott's as well, and then over for dinner last Friday, and we ran some errands together last night. I'm really looking forward to getting to know her better.
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
Sunday, October 23, 2005
Hope
I hurt because you are hurting
I do not have the words to help
And I do not envy your broken heart
But I do know that because you are strong,
You will grow stronger
Your love will grow wiser,
And your faith, deeper
Do not lose hope
because God loves us more than we can ever know or imagine.
I do not have the words to help
And I do not envy your broken heart
But I do know that because you are strong,
You will grow stronger
Your love will grow wiser,
And your faith, deeper
Do not lose hope
because God loves us more than we can ever know or imagine.
Thursday, October 20, 2005
Pathetic Life
I had a Sunday off for the first time in a long time. So I went to some friends' apartment and spent almost all day with them and a few other friends from church. It was so nice to be able to do that. I didn't realize how isolated I have been until I spent time with everyone and I was talking it over with a friend of mine who came to visit me for lunch and I started to tear up a bit. I have definitely been missing my friends because I used to only see them on Sundays, and now that I'm at a different location, I don't really see anyone anymore.
In thinking about what's been going on, I have a good exuse--all my energy has been taken up by the move I made, and I work on Sundays. As of yesterday (Wed.) my now ex-roommate was still sleeping in my old apartment. She was supposed to be out last Saturday. So now I'm responsible for 3 extra days rent because she wouldn't leave. This has been extremely frustrating and stressful. But she's gone, and I'm officially out of my old place and completely into the new. My new roommate comes back from her travels today, and I feel like life is getting back to normal. Finally. It has been a lonely few months, and I'm not always sure why I don't call more people in these situations. It has to do with my perception that I don't have strong enough relationships with people or my perception that they are too busy to spend time with me. I think deep down I sometimes feel like I'm boring, or uninteresting, and unimportant to a lot of people, which is somewhat true. We all have varying degrees of importance in relation to others. Anyway, that's what's going on. I'm going to Knott's Scary Farm this weekend...looking forward to that because I've never been. Not the smartest timing in terms of what I have to do the next day...I'm going to be exhausted...but should be worth it nonetheless.
In thinking about what's been going on, I have a good exuse--all my energy has been taken up by the move I made, and I work on Sundays. As of yesterday (Wed.) my now ex-roommate was still sleeping in my old apartment. She was supposed to be out last Saturday. So now I'm responsible for 3 extra days rent because she wouldn't leave. This has been extremely frustrating and stressful. But she's gone, and I'm officially out of my old place and completely into the new. My new roommate comes back from her travels today, and I feel like life is getting back to normal. Finally. It has been a lonely few months, and I'm not always sure why I don't call more people in these situations. It has to do with my perception that I don't have strong enough relationships with people or my perception that they are too busy to spend time with me. I think deep down I sometimes feel like I'm boring, or uninteresting, and unimportant to a lot of people, which is somewhat true. We all have varying degrees of importance in relation to others. Anyway, that's what's going on. I'm going to Knott's Scary Farm this weekend...looking forward to that because I've never been. Not the smartest timing in terms of what I have to do the next day...I'm going to be exhausted...but should be worth it nonetheless.
Friday, October 14, 2005
Commitment
Just realized why I don't like committing to things... I want to be able to keep my options open.
This applies to relationships as well...this might be why I have trouble dating people. That and a fear of being emotionally vulnerable.
We've been talking about different personalities at work, and I think I'm an INTP, but not extreme. I have some, but not all of these characteristics.
This applies to relationships as well...this might be why I have trouble dating people. That and a fear of being emotionally vulnerable.
We've been talking about different personalities at work, and I think I'm an INTP, but not extreme. I have some, but not all of these characteristics.
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
Focusing issues
I'm having one of those weeks where it has just been hard to focus. I have one or two tasks that I really need to finish today, and should have been done yesterday or Monday yet I procrastinate.
Its been a contemplative week for me as I've been sick, and it has made me phyisically weaker than I thought it had, I haven't been around a whole lot of people outside of work, and I have been wrestling with a decision that I really shouldn't have to wrestle with. I feel like I should just be able to make up my mind and be done with it. But I can't.
And I had a dream last night about being exposed and feeling out of control even though I should have had more control in the situation. This was interesting on a number of levels especially since I have been thinking a bit more about the level of emotional vulnerability I have with different people in my life.
Then last night at my Bible Study, we talked about how there used to be a barrier between us and God, and now there's not, so that he is now always present through the Holy Spirit and whether this has any impact on our daily lives.
Bottom line: I have a lot on my mind.
Its been a contemplative week for me as I've been sick, and it has made me phyisically weaker than I thought it had, I haven't been around a whole lot of people outside of work, and I have been wrestling with a decision that I really shouldn't have to wrestle with. I feel like I should just be able to make up my mind and be done with it. But I can't.
And I had a dream last night about being exposed and feeling out of control even though I should have had more control in the situation. This was interesting on a number of levels especially since I have been thinking a bit more about the level of emotional vulnerability I have with different people in my life.
Then last night at my Bible Study, we talked about how there used to be a barrier between us and God, and now there's not, so that he is now always present through the Holy Spirit and whether this has any impact on our daily lives.
Bottom line: I have a lot on my mind.
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