...where did you go?
I celebrated my birthday this month... finally got a coffee table which is now the only eating surface in my apartment (thanks dad!)
This has probably been one of the most challenging months in my life. I have been trying to increase the amount of income I earn as a musician, so I wrote to a string quartet in town and was invited to try out. I had two really horrible experiences trying to play with them, and it was really hard. The group stressed me out, mostly because they are perfectionists, and I am not. I also sort of feel like I am not really good enough, and I am trying not to let this experience contribute to that.
I was also given the opportunity to lead worship at my church, which is a much better use of my talent, and which is definitely something I would rather be doing. I am so glad I got this gig, it will feed my soul, and keep me from dwelling on how I feel like I failed somehow as a musician at the professional level.
I am trying to remind myself that I have had lots of other successes, and that not every group is going to be the right fit. Someday, I will find an amazing group to be a part of, perhaps my church band will become that, and I am really looking forward to that day.
