It's back to work I go...

I think I would enjoy Sundays so much more if I had friends to come visit me on my dinner break. I get just a little lonely working here when I know that everyone else is having lunch or hanging out.

I went to church for the first time in a few weeks. Last week, I was at that wedding and two weeks ago, I just didn't feel like going to the one I normally go to. I get in these moods sometimes where I just need to be in a different place to worship God. I get distracted when I know people. I had to go back today because I got assigned to play. Michael, the worship guy at church actually sent me an e-mail last week asking how I was doing because we hadn't talked for a few weeks. After seeing him at least twice a week and then not seeing him at all for 2 or so weeks, I had to agree...it was weird not seeing him.

I went to a potluck last night, and another friend of mine was wondering why I wasn't interested in joining the leadership of the 20's somethings ministry and asked me about why I didn't feel like getting involved. I still think I made the right decision for now, and I'm glad that they feel I would be a valuable member to have on the team, but I just want to be the consultant.

Here's what's cool about consulting...people listen to what I have to say because they value my input, but I don't have to actually do anything. I like making suggestions, especially when they work out. I suggested to Michael that he should ask another friend of ours to lead music for the ministry. Michael had a few reservations about this person, but I told him that I thought this guy would not only do a great job, but would get excited about it and bring more people. It is now so much fun for me to see this person taking a more active role in this ministry, and he's excited about it. It's funny, especially since he doesn't know that I recommended him for the music ministry role, and now he's trying to convince me to be a part of the leadership. This amuses me.

On the whole, I have been more withdrawn lately from the people I normally talk to. I have been spiritually withdrawn as well...haven't wanted to pray, I haven't wanted to go to church, I feel really tired all the time, and maybe that's why I don't want to lead right now either. I can't even pinpoint why I'm feeling this way. This is my life. At least for now.