Unsent - 2

Is this a conversation I should have in person? or could I just mail it in? or should I just leave it unsent / unspoken?:

I have been wanting to have a serious talk with you for a couple of weeks here, because I like you a lot. And I am pretty sure I am reading the situation correctly right now, but I am fairly certain that you just want to be friends right now. I thought I’ve seen flashes of interest in something more from you, but lately, I am pretty sure you just want a friendship with me. I get the sense that you are holding back, so I have been holding back too. I am really good at friendship, and terrible about moving forward from there. So I needed to say that just in case you were interested in something more. 

I have also wanted to share a bit about my past... 

The thing I haven’t talked much about is my relationship history. When we first started talking, I felt kind of intimidated by you because you had dated so many people. I haven’t really dated all that many. I have never had a boyfriend. I look back at prime time for dating, which is high school and college for most people, and I was going through so much crap with my family that I didn’t really have the emotional capacity to deal with any kind of other relationships. On top of that, I was tall and shy, but also knew what kind of person I was looking for, which was someone who was intelligent, kind, mature, and who also believed in God. That’s a hard combo to find in high school, and even in college. Heck, that’s kind of a hard combo to find now. 

Anyways. I just wanted to write this out, because I wanted to tell you these things. I love being your friend, and I am perfectly okay with staying in that place. And I don’t want things to get awkward because I end up liking you more than you like me. But if you think there’s a chance for something more, I need to know... even if it still might not be right away. I do want to experience being in a long-term romantic relationship with someone. And if that’s not you, then I will adjust my expectations and shift my attention a bit. I want to also thank you for not leading me on, you’ve been great that way. An upstanding gentleman if you will. So thanks for reading. 

Whatever you’ve decided, we’ll be friends either way, promise.