Nostalgia

I went to yet another wedding yesterday. It was interesting because it was a wedding between two people I knew. One from home, and one from college. So I got to see some friends from college. It was good to see them all, and I'm glad I went to this wedding, if only to connect with one couple who left right after my sophmore year. On the other hand, I ended up sitting at the one table that no one (apparently) wanted to be at, and at one point in the evening, everyone left and I was sitting at the table by myself. That was a bit depressing, and I felt really awkward. Finally, a friend of mine came over and said there was an empty chair at his table, so I moved.

This whole experience reminded me why I never kept in touch with some of the people I knew from college. There were only three or four people who were genuinely interested in hearing about what was going on in my life. But I left as soon as I realized I was A) Not having fun anymore, and B) Really tired.

It also made me realize how humbled I feel to be working at the library here in Point Loma because everyone was asking what I was doing in San Diego. It's not that I'm dissatisfied with my job because I still believe that God provided it when I needed it, but it is a feeling that I am capable of doing so much more, if only I knew what that was. I'm feeling like I need to be "More Successful" whatever that means. And the danger of feeling this way is that it breeds discontentment in my life. Maybe that's a good thing. Maybe it will spur me on to bigger and better things. But I just want to be content with my life.