Motivation

I got to go out with a few friends from my Bible Study last night. We ditched the study in favor of celebrating the completion of my degree and my friend's birthday.

I was just thinking that it is hard for me to celebrate sometimes. I've never really liked big parties and though I have completed my degree I'm not feeling particularly proud of the accomplishment. I knew that I could finish it, and it was not particularly challenging for me to do so. I'm thankful and relieved to be done mostly because I'll have more time to rest.

But the celebration last night helped put me in a better mindset. It is exciting that I'm finished. I will have more time to do things that I've put aside due to the degree.

I'm learning that I am so undisciplined and it is impacting my ability to stay motivated and succeed. I was trying to think of some ways that I could regain my work ethic. A few ideas included trying to get up a little earlier to pray, or being more disciplined in my journal writing, emphasizing one thing I hope to accomplish each day and one thing I'm thankful for...

I realized that I have a lot to be thankful for this year. An attitude of thankfulness helps restore contentment. I would like to have more joy and I wish my life was a little less boring. I was thinking though that there are some awesome things that have happened this last year and some really painful ones. I was also thinking that I might actually write a life update letter for the holidays.

Probably not, but if I did, my list would include:

• new cello
• joining a band
• losing 30 pounds and continuing to keep it off and lose a little more
  
• finishing my MLIS degree

I think the weight loss is great. That goal has been really hard to keep. When I first started, I knew I needed to make a change. That commitment is one of the toughest things I've had to make. I would still like to lose at least ten pounds.

When I went in to get my driver's license picture retaken, I had to change my weight. I do not remember what it said, but I decided to put down 180. I weighed 190 at the time and had already lost about 20 pounds. My goal is 170. I weigh 184 right now. That's about what I weighed my senior year of college. I'm finally back in the gym, and I'm totally feeling better about myself. I have more energy (which is kind of to my detriment since it is hard for me to sit down and focus for extended periods of time).

I had been on a LONG plateau... just maintaining my current weight and not losing any, but I started trying to monitor my sugar intake again. This totally works. I have a little bit during the day usually, but I don't crave sweet things as much, or if I do, I usually want something that is sweet but not super sweet. But I lost a couple pounds in the last two weeks so I'm hopeful again. I'm ready to try getting back in the gym more frequently or maybe the pool. This is definitely a different attitude than the one I had even three months ago.

The only bummer is that I'll probably have to pay again for major dress tailoring for my sister's wedding next June. Oh well. I'd rather be healthy and pay a monetary penalty than the penalty in life.