Ranting

I came home last night to find my roommate and her boyfriend on the phone with his parents. I told her that I was going to go do my laundry, and then she said she wanted to come. I agreed to let her come, but it took a long time to get her out the door. Her boyfriend came with us.

Right before we left, she and I had a conversation. She mentioned that she felt like I was sending out "negative vibes" so I told her it was because I didn't understand the way she prioritized things. If I were in her shoes, I would be applying for everything I was interested in. The "I just need a job" situation. But she tells me (and this was not reassuring) that God always provides. "I know its stressing you out, but something always comes through for me at the last minute, and sometimes I just gotta trust that God will provide," she says.

I feel like this is illogical. God provides, but we also need to make an effort to make the most of our gifts and opportunities.

She also admitted that she doesn't want to try for a fear of failure, but I tried to tell her that to fail is to not try. Every attempt is a success because when you are job searching, you only need one job. The odds of getting a job are increased with every application you fill out, or every resume that you submit. I don't think she's buying it, and I still don't understand.

I don't like being home when she's there, last night she and her boyfriend were arguing and I hate listening to disagreements when I'm trying to sleep.

On top of it all, I'm getting sick and I don't want to stay home sick.

I'm kind of hoping she doesn't have enough money for rent this month so I have a good reason to evict her. Is that bad?