Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Worship

I have been feeling sort of anti-spiritual. I haven't wanted to pray, but I continue to do all the things at church that I normally do. I trust too much in myself and my own abilities. I have not let God be a part of my daily life. I have been feeling tired and beat down and weary of living.

I haven't wanted to talk about it, or deal with the state of my heart. However, a friend of mine actually dug deeper and made me feel that I'm not walking this path alone. His concern nudged me slightly in a more positive direction.

Then I got to play with my favorite musicians tonight in a rehearsal for church on Sunday, and it was great. I love how they care about each other and about my well-being and that we feel safe to talk about it. It seemed like everyone was feeling tired tonight. But in spite of my tiredness, I felt cared for. The music put me in a more thankful state of mind.

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