I was just thinking about how there are still a few moments in my life where I wonder what would have happened if? I've written about this before, but I was thinking about one of those today.
My mom forgot to take me to an orchestra rehearsal one night. I was in high school, but most of the kids in the orchestra were in junior high. I was trying to get into the symphony that was sponsored for the same group, and there just wasn't enough space for me.
After I waited at home for an hour (in vain) for my mom to come home and drive me over to the rehearsal, I started to cry. Punctuality for orchestral musicians is important.
I completely missed that rehearsal, and I found out later that my stand partner got into the symphony that night because someone else had dropped out. It would have been me if I had been able to audition because I was the better sight-reader.
I was talking about this incident with a friend today, and it still upsets me that I missed that rehearsal. I really need to let it go.
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Then I started thinking about whether I would ever take music lessons again. I think I would if I had the time and money. I think a potential instructor might ask me what my goals would be, and I wouldn't be able to articulate them.
I might put on a recital next year sometime near my birthday, but it is a daunting task. The pieces I'd like to play are challenging. I got a raised eyebrow when I told the director of the orchestra I'm in what pieces I wanted to play. He underestimates my ability. Mostly because I'm not reaching my potential. :)
If I truly put some good effort into the pieces in orchestra, I would be the best player in my section.
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