Cello-ing in Texas

What a week. I went to the TCU vs. Utah game. This game was really big. Biggest crowd in the stadium, best ranking ever for TCU, they are having a magical season.

Today, I played cello at a wedding in the Japanese Gardens in Fort Worth. What a beautiful place! I wish I had taken my camera, as I got in free and we had a little bit of time to explore before the guests arrived. The weather was great this morning, but the clouds started rolling in at about 3:15pm, exactly when we were supposed to start playing. The officiant was great, and even sang an a capella version of "At Last" to the bride and groom. She noticed that a downpour was becoming more likely by the minute, so this was probably the FASTEST ceremony I've ever done. As we finished playing the traditional bridal recessional, it started to drizzle. It felt weird putting away my cello before playing any more, but my violinist friend was like, Robyn, it's starting to rain, PUT YOUR INSTRUMENT AWAY! Sure enough, after we quickly packed up and headed to the parking lot, it started to pour. At least we got through everything we were supposed to.

As we were heading out, this thirteen year-old kid started talking to us about music. Apparently, he played bass, and really wanted to connect with us. He was so excited and cute in that eager thirteen year-old kind-of way. I asked him a little about his experience and told him to talk his parents into lessons. I love it when kids are excited about music. I hope he continues to be excited about music.

Football

I played in 2 shows this weekend, and netted about $80 in tips!

On the way to the second show on Saturday night, I called my brother because there was a big TCU game on, and I was driving, so I couldn't watch:

Adam: Yeah TCU!
Me (confused): Hey, um, what? I'm not watching the game...
Adam: What? I thought you were watching the game and called me because they just scored!
Me: That's awesome! No, I'm not watching the game because I am on my way to play at a show. I was calling to see if you could text me periodic score updates
Adam: Yes. The score is 14-0. I'll text you.
Me: Okay, thanks! Bye!
Adam: Love you! Bye!

TCU won, and I thought it was a funny coincidence that I called my brother right after a touchdown.

What was NOT funny was the fact that I got pulled over for the second time this week for non-moving violations. The first was because I didn't have my front plate on. The second was because my headlight was out.

Are the cops in Texas bored or something? I'm seriously aggravated.

So I spent Sunday afternoon trying to fix everything on my car that needed to be fixed. Done. Hopefully I won't get pulled over again for awhile.

What I did last Saturday

I woke up really late. I had a bad sleep night, and did not fall asleep until about 2am. I did not set an alarm and woke up at 9:45am. My two goals that day were to get my phone mailed and to get to the state fair.

My phone broke last week. The frame bent and the navigation buttons kept falling out. Thankfully I know myself and my tendency to break things, so I have phone insurance. Called them up and they fedexed me a new one overnight. I just had to send mine back to them within 10 days. So I finally packaged it up and went to the post office. Unfortunately for me, there was no one at the counter so I had to put it in the mail box. I took a look inside to try and measure with my eyes whether my box would fit. I thought it would, so I sent it down the chute. Also unfortunately, I've always had trouble with depth perception, so although the box went into the chute, it would not slide out. It was stuck in the mail chute, and there was nothing I could do. I'm assuming that this sort of thing happens on a regular basis, so I wasn't that concerned, but I was still slightly embarassed even though there was only one other lady who saw me do it. I'm also fairly certain that I will never see her again.

With me on the trip to the post office were the girls who were going to the fair with me. It was their idea to go to the fair. Their goal at the fair was to try the "best of" fried foods. And we did. That was pretty fun and way more affordable when you have a bunch of people to split things with. We tried fried peanut butter cup macaroons, fried coke, green goblins (fried chicken, cheese and jalepeno), fried pork chips, fried pecan pie, fried yams on a stick, fried shrimp on skewers, and fried peaches. Two of the girls tried the fried butter. That was actually their favorite fried thing! I personally liked the peaches the best.

Me and butter don't get along so well... one time in Jr. High at camp, I took part in a game that involved eating an unknown food item. Mine turned out to be a cube of butter. It made me feel really sick and I've never been able to eat a lot of it since. If I think too much about it, it triggers my gag reflex. Therefore, I was completely uninterested in trying it.

We also took the opportunity to attend a dog show while at the fair. The show that worked the best with our schedule was "Freestyle dancing with your dog." It was fun, but I don't get it. Yes, the dogs are well trained. But they have no sense of rhythm. If you're gonna call it dancing, then let's do it with the beat. Okay? Okay.

It was a pretty fun day.

Musician Frustration

One of the most frustrating things about living here in Fort Worth is trying to make some money as a paid musician. I was making decent money on the side playing music and now I'm starting over. I just don't know enough people to make my profit back. Everyone tells me it just takes time. This is true, but I am trying to accelerate the process. However, I think I've hit my wall. I feel like I have done everything I can. I'm out of ideas short of trying to approach strangers, which I hate doing, and to a certain extent, will not do.

I feel like recessions are particularly difficult for artists, but ESPECIALLY musicians, since live music is sort of this intangible product. With art, the results are tangible (unless it is performance art) and artists can just hold onto their pieces until people start buying again. With live music, people just can't afford to pay for it.

I'm feeling discouraged.

Untitled (for now)

Drivin' home

I was just in a crazy storm last night. I had to drive home in the middle of it. The route I normally take was sort of flooded, and there was rain and lightening all around. I disliked the experience.

Music fun!

I have had a great couple of weeks. Creating that collage really unlocked my creativity, and my ideas are starting to flow again. I've been hiking, playing music, and recording. I have also been teaching people about the library at work. So I've been doing a lot of things that I enjoy, and it is amazing how much of a difference that makes in my well-being.

I am excited about October, which is my favorite month, because my sister is coming to visit and I have two or three gigs lined up with a guitar player I know. I'm really excited because I think he's talented, because he is serious about the music and because he is letting me be a part of it.

You know, as a musician, most of the time I feel that I don't play all that well. The guitarist sent me a live recording of what we worked on last week, and I'm amazed. I was in tune the whole time! Which honestly, was more than I expected. I'm surprised that we sound so good together. I rarely "hear" myself live, mostly because I'm caught up in the moment and anxious about playing things right. But in hearing that recording, I realized that I am a good musician. I know, I know, you would all tell me that I AM a good musician, and not that I don't believe you, but I still doubt myself frequently. All that to say I'm starting to embrace my identity as a "professional musician" which still sounds weird to me, but that's what I am.

Also, on Monday, I got to do some vocal recordings, one of my original songs, a song that my recording friend wrote wherein he needed female backing vocals, and a cover of Bizarre Love Triangle by New Order which has the chorus:

everytime I see you fallin'
I get down on my knees and pray
I'm waiting for that final moment
You'll say the words that I can't say

Basically, my friend decided to record guitar, piano, and bass to cover this song, and then informed me that I needed to sing it. He did a great job with it, and I'm really excited to see how it gets remixed with my voice added. It's gonna be good! I'll post it somewhere online when it's done.

Dreams

Conversations 11 - My new doctor

My new doctor: So, tell me, what should I know about you?
Me: Well, I've lost 50 pounds in the last two years.
Doctor: That's quite a chunk!
Me: I feel much better.
Doctor: Your back is probably better too. So tell me, how did you do it?
Me: Diet and exercise.
Doctor (with mock disbelief): Nooo, really?! That works? You lost weight by changing your diet and exercising?
Me (laughing): Well, yes.
Doctor: You should write a book or something.
Me: With all the stuff that's already been written?
Doctor: Well, they always say 'Try this! It really works' and then the diet and exercise part is usually a much smaller section.
Me: So I guess I'm almost where I want to be...I mean, you tell me...
Doctor (looking at a table): You're about how tall? 5'11"?
Me: Yes.
Doctor: 172 and you weighed in at...(checks my chart)...174? Okay, and that's with your clothes, and your heavy necklace, and your shoes...
Me (laughing): Yeah. So now I guess I need to figure out how to eat for maintenance. I've been eating to lose for so long, and now I am going to have to figure that out.
Doctor: Well, you're still going to have to pay attention to your weight a bit.
Me: I know. I can say that am unlikely to gain it back unless I have a terrible injury or something.
Doctor: Well, good job.

On being a hero...sort of

I just turned the news off, and the last thing I heard was that some kid nearly drowned at a lake. He was saved thankfully. It made me sad though, because it is not that hard to help people in the water if you know how to swim well and learn just a few techniques for how to help them, even if you don't have a flotation device. Then I started thinking about what it means to be a hero. And it's funny. I lifeguarded for about seven summers and we, the lifeguards, always used to joke about being a hero whenever we had to jump in to help someone in a panic. We would serenade any guard who had to jump in with either "Wind beneath my wings" or "Hero" by Mariah Carey. The reality is that if we hadn't been there watching, they probably would have drowned.

I can remember learning to how to save people in the water when I was sixteen. I got a job at a local waterpark, and originally was just trying out for a "shallow water" guard. This was due to the fact that you were supposed to be eighteen to work in deeper water. However, the trainers saw me swim a fast 50 better than probably 90% of the other potential lifeguards, and were like, "Okay. Why are you not trying to be a deep water guard?" I said it was because I was too young. They told me it didn't matter and sent me to the deep end to swim a 200 instead. So I passed my swim test and began to train as a deep water guard.

The training was kind of fun and kind of awkward, because we had to practice on each other. Everyone already knew how to swim well. I can remember going to my first shift at the park and being scared witless. I was confused and trying to learn the protocol for what we were doing. I was so scared that I tried to avoid working at the wave cove the first week or two I was there which was difficult, since there were a very small number of deep water guards in comparison to the total number of guards. All the deep water guards worked at the wave cove, but could cover other areas of the park if they were short-handed or if someone asked you to cover for them. Eventually, of course, I had to suck it up and guard the wave cove. I think part of the fear was having to jump off the guard platform without hitting people, and then for me, I was scared that I would do something wrong, or that something really terrible would happen. The truth is that a lifeguard's main job is to PREVENT these kinds of accidents from happening. If you see a weak swimmer, you tell them to stay in the shallow end, if they actually listen to you.

I think a big misunderstanding about people in distress in the water is that they will call for help when they are in trouble. In reality, they have an instinctive panic response that does not allow them to call for help. They aren't thinking about calling for help, they are just trying to breathe, and panicking. This is why you hear about so many children drowning in pools. If you're not watching, they'll just fall or slip under the water and no one will know the difference.

I know that's a pretty serious topic, but I also wanted to say that after a bit of reflection on lifeguarding, I thought it was a fun job. I always played down the hero role, but looking back, I think it was pretty cool. I saved quite a few people just by being present, and by having some training of course. I do sort of still pay attention to what's going on in the pool if I am near it.

Recording!

So I've been playing music with this guy here in town, I might even call him my first non-work friend here. We've been working on playing through some Motown covers and meeting on Tuesdays, usually.

Well, I show up last night, and he says, "So. I've been thinking and I have an idea. I think we should record one of your songs." I was so excited! So we got down a lullaby I wrote. Still have to do the vocals, but it sounds so good! I had fun and I'm so thankful that I have a friend who thinks it is fun to record stuff.

What happens when I can't sleep

Occasionally, when I can't sleep, I write. This might turn into a song:

In the city,
I walk,
There is both light and shadow.
The buildings,
Are tall,
Casting all these shadows.
And I rest,
In the shade in the day,
Where there are shadows.
Like the other lonely, needy, souls,
Who find rest where there are shadows.

I dunno. Interesting idea, yes? I might have it in me to write another verse for this one.

I am now going to drink some decaf tea and try to get at least four hours of sleep. I feel depressed and tired just writing that. With minimal sleep tonight, here's hoping for a good night's sleep tomorrow!

Falling (which happens to me a lot)

So. I just got back from working out in the complex workout room. Toward the end of my workout, I missed a step and nearly fell off the treadmill. I felt like a gymnast as I sort of caught my balance and stuck my landing on the side of the treadmill.

Oh, and by the way, there was one other guy working out. Awesome!

This is so typical.

Almost like the time I tripped down the stairs at Da Kine's, when they used to be in PB. I had a plate of food in one hand and my drink in the other. I was there by myself and fell forward. I managed to save my drink (which didn't have a lid on it thank you very much) and at the very end, lost my main course to the ground. I did this in front of all the surfer fellas. There weren't any other girls on the deck. Again. Awesome. Stories to live by. I did get some nice rug burns from my clothes and ripped a hole in my favorite jeans that time.

At least this time, I was not injured at all.

Artistic Inspirations

I am feeling the need to do something creative this weekend, and I've been thinking about different ideas all day. First of all, the walls in my new apartment are rather large and currently so bare and white. I need to figure out what to put on them. I've got this idea about trying to do something mixed media with some bold colors--red, orange, yellow, and green. Perhaps a collage. I was sort of thinking it would probably have a nature theme.

This led me to start thinking about what I like, and if I had to represent myself in symbols, what would they be. I came up with an interesting list:

• water
• robin (the bird)
• tree
• leaf

These do sort of go together, so that's interesting. I know I'm quite musical, but I didn't come up with anything that represented the music in me. Which I'm okay with for now.

I'm just trying to get in touch with my childlike side that just liked to draw, paint and make animals out of clay. I realize my art may end up looking like a third grader did it, but who says I have to hang it on my wall?

Anyways. Another great idea I saw was to take a word and use it as an inspiration for art work.

So. If you'd like to participate, give me an inspiration. No guarantees I'll use it, but it will help me think of more ways to be creative.

How will the U.S. end?

Who knows? But it is something I've been thinking about lately. I have no idea why, except that I did study the Roman Empire in college, and it failed after 900 years. The U.S. is a relatively young nation, and I wonder if it could last as long as the Roman Empire.

This week, my thoughts were echoed by the writers at Slate who decided to ask the same kinds of questions. With that in mind, I offer this fun diversion: Choose your own Apocalypse! wherein YOU decide how the U.S. might end. Let me know how it goes.

Mr. Encourager

One of the things I like about living where I live is the river trail that's located right behind my apartment complex. It goes for miles. I, of course, can only run about 3 miles at the most on a daily basis, which means I go a mile and a half out and then turn around. I've been doing this nearly everyday, and have started to recognize some of the regulars. I never thought I'd get to that point. But there's the girl with two little non-matching dogs, a few old dudes, the couple with the german shepherd with its back legs in a contraption to help it walk, and the guy who encourages everyone else by telling them, "Good job, you're doing great! Keep it up!"

I have seen this guy nearly every day. We are able to recognize each other especially on "bad weather" days, since on those days, there are fewer people out and about. I personally like these days since the weather on those days feels more like San Diego with a marine layer. However, I realized that it might be a good idea for me to check the weather report before heading out in the morning due to the fact that rain here is most often accompanied by thunder and lightening.

But now I'm curious about Mr. Encourager. He looks like he could have played football in the past, he's about as tall as I am and he's pretty stocky and square. I wonder if he has a coaching background and whether he has ever met a stranger. I have never seen him run on the trail, he is always just walking. Today, I passed him twice, once on my way out and again on the way back. The first time I passed him, he asked me how far I was going. I told him I was going just to the bridge and back. The second time, he gave me a high five and told me to keep it up.

I asked his name (Bill) and I have no idea whether we'll be friends or not, but I'm glad I now know his name.

My moment with Walter Cronkite

As an undergraduate, I majored in History at the University of California, Santa Barbara. All History majors were required to complete a seminar class, in which each student was expected to write at least a 20 page paper. Seminars could be taken on almost any field of history, and I chose to take my seminar in recent US History (1960-present).

Sixteen of us met twice a week and our instructor walked us through the writing process. In class, we got to discuss and critique each others' topics and drafts. One week, our prof announced that Walter Cronkite would be coming to our class. We all kind of looked at each other incredulously... our instructor explained that Cronkite was giving a lecture on campus that night, and wanted to visit a class or two. Since he had been reporting for most of the 20th century, the administration decided that ours would be the best possible class for him to visit.

So Walter Cronkite came to our senior seminar in Recent US History. He asked us each individually to share our topics with him. Then he provided commentary on each of our topics based on his knowledge and experience. What was so great about this experience is that the group was small enough for this personal interaction and that Cronkite was genuinely interested in what we had to say.

I am grateful for the experience.

Musical Networking

This week has been a good one so far... I finally managed to go to a church that had a potluck on Sunday after the service and got to meet some ladies my age. Also, apparently, they have a weekly social--trivia night at a local bar. Awesome. I'm there.

I've also been doing some recording with this guy in town, and he just sent me an email asking if I thought I would be interested in trying to put together some music so we can play around town. My answer to that was a resounding "yes!"

On Monday night, I drove out to Azle, TX to meet up with a violinist. Turns out she lives on a lake! She's lived there for over 20 years. When I got finally got there (got a little lost on the way), she served me some crackers, cheese, grapes, veggies and nuts. It was so nice and again, I felt like I was at a resort or something. We played through some of the music I had. I got the sense that we were both sort of auditioning each other, but I think we're going to get along and that's what counts. She is going to try and see if her next wedding clients might want a cellist too. I hope so. Even though I'm making more than I was at my new job, the extra income would certainly be nice.

Then of course I got lost on the way back. It took me twice as long to get back to my place because I went the wrong way. I still need to learn my freeways.

I have sort of been working at establishing a new community--I set goals for myself and have been trying to network. I feel like I've been putting a lot of time and effort into it, and my efforts are paying off. I'm having some success. It's a good feeling.

I'm kind of thinking I need to get a website or something... people keep asking me if I have one, and it would be nice to get something to showcase the recordings I've done. I just need to come up with a name for it.

Social Networking

So I've been trying to make some friends, and I've put a few ads up on CL, mostly looking for violinists. I'm starting to get responses from people who have no interest in actually responding to my ads, but they want to "help me."

I would like to let those people know: I don't need your help. Now, stop responding to my ads unless you are a violinist and are actually interested in playing music with me.

Seriously. If you don't understand the ad, don't answer it. If you don't meet the qualifications, don't answer it. Just don't. I will ignore you.

Okay, thanks.

Finding People

In case you didn't know, Texas is hot. I've been enjoying the heat. I know. I'm weird.

I'm in the process of trying to find a group or groups of people that share some kind of interest I have... ideas include church, ultimate frisbee players, bicyclers, hikers, walkers, runners, musicians...well, you get the idea. I'm finding that it is hard to meet people in the summer here because a)it's hot and b)Texans flee Texas in the summer because of the heat.

Work is slow because the students are gone for the summer. It does allow for a lot of time to plan and get things ready for the school year, which will be here before I know it.

For the 4th of July, I went to my dad's friend's house. They grew up across the street from each other in Long Beach. It was great to feel included and I had a great time getting to know their friends. Also, I told Mike, dad's friend, that I was looking for a new bike. Turns out he loves riding and found me a coupon to his favorite bike shop. I'm tempted to get something new. Very tempted. My current bike is just a bit too small, and it hurts my back. But I had forgotten how much I enjoyed riding when I had a bike I loved.

Speaking of combining interests. This is a picture I took a few years ago. I had forgotten about it until recently. This is my old cello, the one that is essentially "totalled" meaning the cost of the repair is more than the instrument is worth. Maybe I'll go on a photo shoot this weekend and take the cello with me. Hey, you gotta admit, it's a great conversation piece.

I have had some success with networking within the music community here. I have made my first musical friend. We have already done a few recordings together, and he is going to help me with one of mine next week.