Being vs Doing

I'm in a pensive mood at the moment-- problem solving in my head, and reviewing the events of the past week, my goals for the future, and basically evaluating my current state of being.

I really want to go for a walk, but I wish I had someone to call to come with me.

I thought I wanted to just "be" this evening, cause I'm really tired, and I'll probably go to bed early. But at the same time, I sort of wish there were people around.

I have been too busy this week, and I am disheartened by all the time I spend "doing." But if I'm not "doing," then I am bored.

I understand why we are called to rest, because it is tiring to be constantly busy. And right now, I have too much on my mind to even try to rest.

This week, I feel like I've lucked into a very unexpected friendship, and it both encourages me and challenges me at the same time.

More Changes

Everything seemed to be going well, and then all of a sudden, my car required a lot more work. Looks like I'm going to have to buy one in the next year. I really want to get something I love, but I cannot afford a large car payment right now.

Random name generator

This site totally made me laugh today. Basically, you tell the generator what kind of name you want it to generate. You can choose options like goth, transformer, wrestler, fairy, rapper, and hillbilly.

Check it out: http://www.behindthename.com/random/

I kind of liked my rapper name.--Notorious Money Busta-X

Conversation With the Random Tow-Truck Guy That Towed My Car

Me: Rascal Flatts always has one really sad ballad on each of their albums.

Tow-truck guy skips to a track called "What hurts the most": You don't think this one's sad?

Me: Well, that one's sad too, but its not a ballad in the traditional ballad sense...actually, now that I think about it, the whole CD is sad. All the songs are about break-ups. Its the post break-up CD.

Tow-truck guy: Why do think I'm listening to it?

Me: Oh, did you just break up with someone?

Tow-truck guy: Yeah, three months ago. And it happened just like in the song.

[On the radio: What hurts the most, is being so close, and havin' so much to say...]

Tow-truck guy: Ooooohhh, I really had a lot to say...

[The song continues: And watching you walk away...]

Tow-truck guy: YEAH. That's exactly what happened.

Me: What happened?

Tow-truck guy: She just left. Started dating some other guy.

Me: How long were you together?

Tow-truck guy: A year.

Me: That stinks.
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Maybe it is easier sometimes to talk about stuff with random people you will never see again. Then again, we were on kind of a road trip. My car broke down on the 15, in Wildemar. I was on my way to my parents' house because I was having car problems, so the breakdown wasn't completely unexpected. But tow-truck guy had to tow me 60 miles into LA County, where my parents live. Good times.

Also, tow-truck guy loved Rascal Flatts, and had no problem belting out the lyrics to the songs he knew in front of a complete stranger. It was refreshing to meet someone who had so much self-assurance. It made me smile.

Things I miss

Playing with the uptown band, family dinners, playing frisbee, good friends, vacations, summertime, swimming, October--the month of, long walks with a dog, sunsets in Santa Barbara, Blenders, hangin' with my brothers, serious conversations with my friends.

Musician's Rant

To those of you who want to hire musicians for weddings, parties, & such,

You may be wondering why we (the musicians) charge you so much. Let me break it down:

Song-Selecting/Preperation: 1 hour
Rehearsal time: 2-3 hours
Sound-Set Up: 30min-1 hour
Prelude: 20min-30min depending
Wedding Ceremony or Party Time: 30min- 3 hours
Sound Tear-down: 30min-1 hour

So. I'm feeling a little frustrated as a paid musician. Please pay us what we're worth. You do the math.

Goals for now

Things I'm going to start doing differently:
1. Inviting people over for dinner twice a month for family night
2. Calling my family more often
3. Following through on relationships-- calling people I know I should be calling more often
4. Walking 3 times a week at least
5. Be more willing to commit to things.

Red Robin

I went to visit my parents last weekend on Saturday. My mom and I ate at the Red Robin that used to be where my friends and I always hung out when we were in high school. It all started with my 16th birthday...My mom threw me a surprise party for my 16th birthday. I was at my dad's house, when my mom knocked on the door. She said I had left something in her van. So I went to check it out, and all my friends were in the van. We drove to Red Robin and had dinner.

There happened to be a cute server serving us that night, and I didn't think he was that cute, but all my friends did. The result of this was that we continued to go to Red Robin in hopes of seeing this guy, which eventually led to one of my friends getting a job there when she turned 16 in November of that same year.

Well, she's still working at the Red Robin. I ran into her with my mom at lunch on Saturday. It was so fun to catch up and hear what's up in her life, and in the lives of my other friends from high school.I was always the independent one. I was the only one of that group to go away to college. Everyone else stayed in town. They all still hang out with each other. I don't think I could have stayed there, but I'm glad that I'm slowly reconnecting.

Chances

I helped our pastor and assistant pastor interview a candidate for a youth director position we have at church. When I envisioned the kind of person who would be good for this position, it was not this guy's personality. He is young and inexperienced, but genuine, honest, and compassionate. We are going to have to teach him some things, and hopefully we'll be able to learn from each other.

And maybe it isn't about what we (the pastors and I) thought we needed, but what God knows we need. I think this guy's compassion and genuineness might be exactly what we need in a youth director.

He wants to grow, and anyone who is willing to grow and learn is worth the investment. I know I was inexperienced once, and someone was willing to give me a chance. That's how you get experience.