Miscommunication

I'm having a rough week. After getting dropped by my band, I get a call from my dad who is upset because he didn't know I was going to New York for my cousin's wedding. After talking it over with everyone, I figured out that there were a lot of assumptions being made by everyone involved. Frankly, it just slipped my mind to let my parents know that I would be there. I'm really frustrated with everything in my life right now.

I want to make music so badly, and I'm feeling adrift. I have nowhere to play. I keep working to promote my instrument and then subsequently work myself out of positions. I started playing cello at this rad church last summer, but because of my schedule during the year, I had to drop that band. They liked the cello so much that they hired a full-time cellist. So I won't get to play with them this summer. Ironic.

I'm playing at a talent show this weekend. I'm playing the Prelude from Bach Unaccompanied Cello Suite #2. Bach wrote six suites for the cello, and every cellist learns them. Each suite has six movements, so there are 36 movements total.

I've always said that good cellists are always slightly depressed. I was debating between the Prelude from Suite 2, and a Gigue, which is a dance, and by nature is happier and a little more showy. I decided to play the Prelude instead because I have never performed it-- will probably never again have the opportunity to perform it because it is a sad piece. However, I think it is my favorite Prelude.

I should be able to play it well as it reflects my current state of mind at the moment.

Job Searching

I have been looking around to see what kinds of jobs are out there. Because I forgot to fill out some paperwork, my degree will not post for a year from now. I'm frustrated. This may impact my ability to get a job.

I applied for one job already (and got a nice rejection notice) and I should be applying for more but I think I am afraid of the change. I never thought of myself as that person, but I am really not looking forward to this particular transition.

Everyone tells me that I have great skills and experience, but I am still really worried about finding something new. I think my biggest fear is taking the wrong job, or worse, getting the right one and utterly failing at it. This is so weird because I'm normally pretty confident, but I think the idea of a change is shaking my confidence a little.

I struggle with motivation in my current position, but that has to do more with the fact that I'm not challenged in my job. Yet I am worried that I will fail at a job that challenges me. I know this is dumb because I always get things done, rise to the occasion, and all that.

The paradox is that I need the change, yet I am reluctant to face it. I am in the process of mentally preparing to face it. And I'll get to the acceptance phase probably sometime soon.

Weekend Blah

I've got the Monday blues. I'm not feelin' that great and I'm really tired which also means that I'm unmotivated. I think I used up all my motivation on Saturday, wherein I had a 3 hour orchestra rehearsal, a barbeque (which was fun!), then I went walking (because it was 90 degrees in SD on Saturday), went to the grocery store, made a mass amount of cookies which took me 3 hours, wrote a quick paper and then finally, went to bed. I was really tired. I actually had to make myself a to-do list on Saturday.

On Sunday, I got a late start. By the time I was ready to go, it was after 10am. So instead of going to my church, I visited the one on the corner. I got to meet some of my neighbors. There were hardly any young people there. I was talking with a friend about it, and we were wondering what makes a church or any organization thrive. We both agreed that it takes a core group of people spending time together and who are inviting others to be a part of it.

Hawkeyes for a night

Last week at band rehearsal:
Nate: So my parents are coming to town next week. They're really excited to meet you guys. They bought you all presents.
Me: Really? What did they get us?
Nate: I can't tell you. But its a sweet gift!

Last night at the show, we all met Nate's parents. They are from Iowa. They had presents for us--Iowa Hawkeye shirts. Mine was hot pink! We all wore our shirts from the show. I wish I had brought my camera last night!

I need some encouragement

I just realized that I missed the deadline for declaring my candidacy to graduate. I'm now getting the runaround from advisor types about whether or not I get to graduate in December. If my candidacy is not accepted, then my degree will not post until May 2009. I'm not optimistic.

Homework

I was kinda bored all weekend. Weird, with what all I have to do. On Friday, I hiked to Costco for some ice-cream. That's right. Hiked. That hill is wicked steep! I also practiced my cello quite a bit.

On Saturday, I went for a walk in the morning, had a meeting, and then just played around on the computer. I finally got around to actually getting some homework done. I finished this week's project, and let me say, I'm glad I got it done on Saturday, and that I didn't procrastinate. It took me about 6 hours! Plus I still have a group project to work on. I am really looking forward to the month of May, wherein I will get some time off from school.

Podcast and Encouragement

We had to experiment with podcasting for my class this week on social software and libraries. A podcast is actually an audio series (sort of like a radio show) that listeners can subscribe to using RSS feeds. However, most people will just download the single audio files of what they want to listen to, and don't actually subscribe to the series. So what I did for my class was create an audio file. I wouldn't really call it a podcast because it isn't part of a series...yet.

So for this experiment in audio, I decided to tell the story of the original Norman Rockwell painting that our library owns. It was actually stolen and returned in 1987. My "broadcast" got a great review from my professor and classmates, so I decided to send it to my boss. He LOVED it. That was really encouraging to hear, and he's thinks it could be fun to do a series.

Stories from the Studio

I recently met this guy after one of my band's shows. Let's just say he's a friend of a friend of a friend. We talked for an hour about fun, intellectual things. Turns out we have a lot in common, and I have been hoping that he would make an appearance at a show in the future. He has not yet made an appearance at any of the other shows we've played.

At the studio on Friday, I was talking with Nate's aunt. She had noticed that I was talking with this guy, and turns out he's good friends with her son. She was thinking that we (her son's friend and I) were getting along really well. She's throwing a barbeque in a few weeks and she's going to try and get her son's friend there. Awesome! Look at me, doing the whole social networking thing!

Community in YouTube paper

I just got my grade back on the paper I wrote on community formation in YouTube. My prof really liked it and thought I should try to publish it! That's awesome! I think it would need a bit of editing, some sections could be expanded a little, and there are still some long sentences that I could cut down. I don't know where a paper like this would fit in. I emailed the prof back to ask if she had any ideas about which publications would accept a paper like this. It isn't really a paper that has anything to do with library science.

Community and Craigslist

I just wrote a paper about community formation in YouTube, but I was thinking that perhaps I should have written about Craigslist. Here's the deal, I have a lot of personal examples about how Craigslist has influenced personal relationships. Here's a sampling:

Rob: Responded to a job advertisement posted by the pastor at church. I sat in on his interview and we hired him. Rob and I are now friends and we have been trying to create a faith-based community of high school kids.

Nate: Posted an ad for a cellist. I responded, met Nate, and now we're recording an album together. Not only are we recording, but we hang out. I've met a lot of his family and their friends. Talk about community formation. Music really does bring people together.

My Student Worker: Posted a missed connection. Found her guy because one of his coworkers saw the ad. These two found each other and dated for about 6 months.

F and Jane: You can read about them here.

I am absolutely fascinated by how many of my personal relationships (and community) have been influenced by the use of Craigslist.

A Note

Group project: DONE!

I'm a little sleep deprived and I forgot to set my alarm this morning. I was over an hour late to work. I'm glad that my supervisors allow me to be somewhat flexible in my schedule.

Weekly moment of comedy

My life yesterday resembled a sitcom yesterday and here's why. A guy friend of mine first sends me an instant message (names have been changed):

this is random... you know jane smith? musician?

54 minutes

12:29 PM me: yes.

12:30 PM we have played together many times.

12:33 PM F: cool

12:34 PM me: where'd you meet her?

F: long story

is she cool?

me: totally.

F: hip?

me: why?

F: smart?

cute?

me: check, check, and check.

why are you asking about cuteness...

do you like her?

12:35 PM I think she's cute, but I'm a girl.

F: well, technically i've never met her

gross

jk

me:you know what I mean.

I just rolled my eyes.

F: nice

me: we're friends...

F: crazy

12:37 PM small world

me:I'm now very curious.

12:38 PM F: just a random connection

me: friend of a friend?

F: yeah

me: did they date?

or something?

F: um, i don't know

more like friend of a friend of a friend

12:39 PM me: ah. 3rd degree connection.

or 2nd if you use me as one. :)

I see her a lot.

we talk occasionally.

she's a good musician.

12:40 PM I'll prob. be seeing her tonight at rehearsal.

F: crzy

don't say anything, that would just be random. she doesn't know who i am

but i thought i would just ask

me: yeah I won't.

12:41 PM F: ask who she is

nice, thanks for the randomness

12:42 PM me: yeah. no prob.

I enjoyed it immensely

That same evening, I run into Jane....

J: Robyn, I HAVE to talk to you. Do you have a minute?
R: Yeah what's up?
J: Okay. So my friend R met her boyfriend on Craigslist and she convinced me to post an ad and give it a try. I was getting all these responses and they were all mostly from guys named "snake." But there was one guy who seemed really cool. I stalked him online and saw that you were friends and I didn't know if you were just online friends or actual friends.
R: That is so funny.
J: So do you know him?
R: Yeah, we're friends.
J: Is he nice?
R: He's really nice, loves God, loves people...
J: Really? So you think I should meet him?
R: I think he is a friend worth having.
J: Okay, I don't know what I am going to do. Don't tell him I talked to you, okay?
R: That's cool.
J: Do you think I should tell him I know you?
R: That's up to you. If you don't want me to say anything, then I won't.

This is so amusing. So they both know that I know both of them, but they do not know that they have both talked to me. I also know that they have seen each other before, last year at a wedding I played in. They were both present. They might have even been briefly introduced. I am so amused.

At least I can vouch for each of their characters. That is good. I'm trying to convince Jane to hang out with me at some kind of social function where the guy would be present. That would truly make it a sitcom situation.

Researching the YouTube Community

I have to write this paper for a class I'm in about how online communities form. I decided to take a look at YouTube.

I think it is an interesting question, How DO online communities form? For example, I'm (obviously) a blogger. However, I do not really have a very large readership (that I'm aware of). I don't really interact with other people in blogger, and all I do is write. I don't comment on other people's posts, I haven't even really met anyone online so to speak. So what is my role in the community? Or am I even a part of one?

I do use both MySpace and Facebook frequently, and usually what happens there is that I'll meet someone in person and then either they will add me to their friends or I will add them. There's only one situation where I actually added someone I didn't really know... he is still on my friends list, but I wouldn't say we're REALLY friends.

However, I do believe in the power of social software... that's how I met Nathan, my bandmate. He had posted an ad on Craigslist, and I responded. We will be in the studio next month.

It is absolutely amazing to me how quickly that all happened, and I NEVER would have met Nate had it not been for Craigslist.

That's just one example of how the Internet brings people together in unexpected ways.

Studio

Yeah! I'm gonna be recording with Nate and the band next week! I'm so excited! We're going to record "Lifeguard" I think, which isn't really a song that will prominently feature cello. However, Nate just needs to get a song out there and test the waters. We're recording at StudioWest here in SD. So awesome.

Chronicles of the band

I don't know why I'm so self conscious, but it took me awhile to decide which casual but "rockin'" shirt I was going to wear to my band's first gig. Nate always wears a T-shirt, apparently (from other photos) his favorite is a black T-shirt that says, "black velvet" on it. So I can't dress up too much cause it looks disproportional compared to what all the guys are wearing. So I just wore my ringer tee. We had fun setting up and hanging out. Kyle disappeared for awhile and while he was gone, Nate reiterated how nice he is:

Nate: "Yeah, when Emily first met Kyle, she thought he was the nicest guy ever."
Eric (the drummer): "Yeah, he's a good guy."
Nate: "Kyle's the kind of guy that if he ever got beat up as a kid wouldn't do anything about it; would just be mellow, like 'I'm cool,' and then you'd get all mad at the person who beat him up and try to take him down!"

I thought that was a fun and creative take on Kyle. He really wouldn't be mean to anyone on purpose.

Nate, for whatever reason, is very quotable:

Nate on Eric's drumming: For the second time through, I'm not even remotely mad!
Nate on the band at rehearsal: All three of you are phenomenal! (to me and Kyle) I love you both! (to Eric) I only just met you today, I didn't think you'd be ready for me to drop the L-bomb on you yet.

Me to Nate: So I was wondering what the schedule looks like for March, cause I'm going out of town.
Nate: Well, we have a show on the 26th. But whatever, if you can't do it that's fine. (Pause). But I would be pretty much devastated if you couldn't do it.
Me: Really?
Nate: Well yeah, I'm just so tired of doing shows on my own.

Kristin acted as our paparazzi that night. At the end of the night:
K: So, as your paparazzi, I gotta tell you, you look depressed in every single picture I took of you.
R: Really? Yeah, I guess I am pretty serious when I play.
K: No, really, you SERIOUSLY look depressed or mad.
R: Well, I have to concentrate really hard on what I'm playing. I don't pay attention to my face...I guess I can work on it...
K: Um, yeah. Okay, just don't be mad that you look sad in all the pictures.
R: I won't.
K: No, really.
R: I promise.
K: Okay.

For a first show, not bad. There were a few mistakes, and I felt shaky on two songs, so I definitely have room to improve.

It was fun to have a lot of supporters there, and gratifying to know that we do actually sound good. I think the people were impressed!

I'm always filled with some self-doubt about these sorts of things because I always have this impending sense that I'm not as good as I thought. This does keep me humble to a certain extent, and makes me want to perform better the next time.

Michael B. after hearing that I was in a band commented on how a band really does bring people together. It's a great opportunity for me to get all my friends and acquaintances together at the same time for the same reason, to enjoy the music. I've worked hard to be able to play as well as I do, so it is great to know that there are so many people out there that support me.

I'm really looking forward to watching it all unfold.

Procrastination

I really procrastinated on a paper that was due last night. I was trying to think about why. The reason is not because I find the assignment difficult or challenging, but because I was not interested in writing on this particular topic. It was a too broad in my opinion, and I did not feel like I had enough resources to write this paper. This is ironic considering I am studying to be a librarian, and though I am familiar enough with how to find the information I need, this particular topic was SO broad that I had trouble pinpointing one or two key ideas on which to base my paper.

Reasons I procrastinate include:

1. Topic is too broad and I have trouble narrowing it down.
2. Not have enough information to make convincing arguments.
3. No interest in the subject I'm writing about.
4. Not understanding the contextual value of assignments-- if an assignment seems like busywork, then I'll just avoid doing it.
   

Some of these reasons do correspond to an article I read about why students procrastinate. I don't know why I'm so unmotivated in this particular class, but it borders on resistance. I am not an "engaged student" in this class.

However, the paper is now finished, and I can move on. I will gladly receive the "C" I deserve and continue on to enjoy the weekend.

Birthday Cake Tip

If there is powdered sugar on your birthday cake, you might want to reconsider using candles at the same time. I'm just sayin...

NEW CELLO!!!

Thanks to all my family and friends, I was able to purchase a new cello today. I am so grateful!

My virtual donation wall:
Tara, Trippe, Nancy, Adam, Duncan, Tracy, Mom, Dad, Sue, Jon, Grandma J, Grandpa Steve, and Grandma R.

Presentations and blogging

We have been studying blogs and blogging in my social software in libraries class. It has been a thought-provoking topic for me. I have been blogging for a long time it seems, and my purpose for starting this blog was to get better at writing.

As a result of our discussion, I have been thinking about what I would write about if I started a more "professional" blog, and whether or not I would be able to blog about interesting ideas, interact more with the library community and participate more. I'm not sure that I really have much to add to the conversation, but who knows until I try, right? I'm not going to convert this blog at all, it will remain a personal journal-type blog, that I don't really advertise to anyone that I know really.

The blog discussion led me to explore some ideas this morning about presenting. I have to create a presentation. It will be rather boring, I'm afraid, so I have been looking into trying to spice up the content with a good graphical presentation. I have been looking into alternative methods of presenting other than using powerpoint. I found an interesting idea about using Dreamweaver instead.

By using dreamweaver, the presentation becomes less linear and more visual. My problem is that I need to start thinking about how to represent my content in a more visual context, and really think about how I'm going to make this presentation interesting.

We have been talking in class about how to make blogs more engaging and interesting, and I find that there is a high degree of cross-over between making content interesting in both blogs and presentations.

I might give Dreamweaver a chance this afternoon.

Opening night

I played cello for Nate James last night, and had so much fun! However, there was some miscommunication about when we were supposed to start so all my friends showed up at the end of the set. There will be other opportunities.

The band that played after us consisted of a keyboard player and a guitar player, and they were such a mismatched pair. Not sure how they met or why they were playing together. Their styles were so different.

Finally, we couldn't take it anymore, so we went out to a karaoke place. That was fun. It was a fun night out.