As I have been working through this time of transition, I think I have learned the most about discipline. I have never felt that I have been very disciplined in my life. There are so many people out there that I feel are more put together, or more organized. My desk and room are always a mess. But I don't think that I could have accomplished what I have accomplished in the last six months without a complete disciplinary overhaul in my life.
First of all, I lost some weight, and that took some discipline. I had to start eating better and add exercise into my life. And not just fit it in, but make it a priority. Secondly, I also had to be more disciplined in my school work in order to finish my portfolio and also find a job. That took a lot of time and effort on my part to make sure that I met my deadlines.
I am more busy than ever, and the truth is I actually hate living my life with this much intensity. I keep thinking that these habits I've formed will get easier. They don't. It is still hard to watch what I eat and make exercising a priority. I have also realized I need to sleep more than most people and this also drives me nuts. If I want to be at my best during the day, I have to go to bed by 10pm. I usually push that to 10:30pm, and it is still hard for me to get to bed "on time."
I have been playing with my schedule lately as I have realized that exercising and sleeping (both of which need to happen in my daily schedule) can sometimes work against each other. So I have started trying to get up in the morning just 20min earlier than usual in order to get in a morning run. This has been good so far and has actually served a double purpose, since I am getting to work sooner. If I exercise in the morning, I'm not worried about trying to "fit it in" in the evenings, often after things like rehearsals and Bible Study.
I do not think I'll ever be able to completely conquer busyness in my life, but I'm trying to make things less frantic for sure.
It was only last week that I started thinking about how much I have grown in the area of discipline, mostly because a good friend of mine commented that he has learned a lot about how to organize his life through my experiences in the last six months. this surprised me because I do not consider myself to be very organized in general. I have had to learn it because it feels so unnatural. Anyway, we both were looking for jobs at the same time. It was awesome to be in the same situation with this friend because we inadvertently held each other accountable in terms of productivity. We both got jobs within a month of each other, and though we'll be in two different locations, we'll be able to support each other through the rest of our transitions.
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Monday, March 16, 2009
Changes
Spring, apparently, begins on Friday, and change is in the air, at least for me. It has been an eventful month. I have been feeling pretty intense about my life and what's been happening and I have not been able to post about it until now.
At the beginning of February, I had interviewed for two new jobs, one in LA and one in Texas. Yes, I actually flew to Texas for the interview the last week of January. This was very nerve-wracking. I had fun at both interviews, but figuring out the logistics to make the interviews work with the job that I currently have was a challenge. I really liked both places, but especially liked the job in Texas. They told me they would let me know whether I got the job or not by February 12, which was a few weeks away, and right after another interview I had in Kansas. Well, they called me on February 5, two days before I was to leave for Kansas and offered me the job. I was so surprised since I was not expecting this call so early! I accepted the job, and I will be moving to Texas in May.
I am so excited, but also slightly terrified at the same time. I'm worried about finding housing, meeting people, making friends, and succeeding at my new job. This is such a big change for me since I have lived in CA my whole life. I have always wanted to live someplace different, and I'm almost surprised that I have created this opportunity. It is good. I am also so thankful that I was able to get a job in this economy. I feel so blessed. I will be earning a higher salary in a place where my income will go further because the cost of living is lower. I feel like I have a chance to really live my life the way I have always hoped to live it--debt free and full of fun. I have a lot of debt to pay down. But the good news is that I know I will be able to pay it off quickly because of the new higher salary.
I am really excited about all the possibilities.
At the beginning of February, I had interviewed for two new jobs, one in LA and one in Texas. Yes, I actually flew to Texas for the interview the last week of January. This was very nerve-wracking. I had fun at both interviews, but figuring out the logistics to make the interviews work with the job that I currently have was a challenge. I really liked both places, but especially liked the job in Texas. They told me they would let me know whether I got the job or not by February 12, which was a few weeks away, and right after another interview I had in Kansas. Well, they called me on February 5, two days before I was to leave for Kansas and offered me the job. I was so surprised since I was not expecting this call so early! I accepted the job, and I will be moving to Texas in May.
I am so excited, but also slightly terrified at the same time. I'm worried about finding housing, meeting people, making friends, and succeeding at my new job. This is such a big change for me since I have lived in CA my whole life. I have always wanted to live someplace different, and I'm almost surprised that I have created this opportunity. It is good. I am also so thankful that I was able to get a job in this economy. I feel so blessed. I will be earning a higher salary in a place where my income will go further because the cost of living is lower. I feel like I have a chance to really live my life the way I have always hoped to live it--debt free and full of fun. I have a lot of debt to pay down. But the good news is that I know I will be able to pay it off quickly because of the new higher salary.
I am really excited about all the possibilities.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Morning adventures!
Most of the people that work in the library take a morning break at 10am. This morning, I started hearing animal noises at around that time. This was weird because I thought everyone was in the break room. So I went to investigate next door. I was looking around when a tiny Chihuahua approached me.
Well, turns out my coworker brought in two Chihuahua puppies. One of them had escaped its enclosure. They were really cute. I put the one back inside only to have the other climb out. I got them both back in and let my coworker know that they had escaped and that I had captured them both.
Chihuahua puppies are SO TINY!
Well, turns out my coworker brought in two Chihuahua puppies. One of them had escaped its enclosure. They were really cute. I put the one back inside only to have the other climb out. I got them both back in and let my coworker know that they had escaped and that I had captured them both.
Chihuahua puppies are SO TINY!
Saturday, February 07, 2009
Dreams
Two weird dreams last night. I don't normally have them.
The first involved me having to take over driving a trolley in San Diego. However, the trolley was not on a track. It was more like a street trolley. It was out of control, and though I figured out how to control it, I didn't know the route. So I eventually managed to stop it at one of the main hubs and then felt embarrassed that I did not know the route. It felt frantic and crazy. People were totally screaming and I felt like I had let people down.
Then I also dreamed that I was racing at a swim meet. I was going to be my first race in five years in my dream (but in reality it has been much longer!). I was swimming the 100 butterfly and 100 freestyle. The fly is weird because I am weak in that stroke. I can do it, but not quickly or strongly. In my dream, I was actually trying to warm up for my race (the first one of the day--6am) and I couldn't swim right! For some reason, I could not a) pull my arms all the way down like you're supposed to, and b) open my eyes, so I was swimming with my eyes closed in the water and I couldn't see. I was however, wearing goggles. I never got to the race part of this dream, just the warm-ups.
The swimming dream was really strange because I know that I a) can swim well and fast and b) that goggles are my friend and that I can totally see what I'm doing even if I wasn't wearing them.
I am pretty anxious right now, and my anxiety does tend to manifest itself in my dreams sometimes. I have given up caffeine in this time because I know that it amps me up too much. Now I'm off to make some muffins and drink some herbal tea.
The first involved me having to take over driving a trolley in San Diego. However, the trolley was not on a track. It was more like a street trolley. It was out of control, and though I figured out how to control it, I didn't know the route. So I eventually managed to stop it at one of the main hubs and then felt embarrassed that I did not know the route. It felt frantic and crazy. People were totally screaming and I felt like I had let people down.
Then I also dreamed that I was racing at a swim meet. I was going to be my first race in five years in my dream (but in reality it has been much longer!). I was swimming the 100 butterfly and 100 freestyle. The fly is weird because I am weak in that stroke. I can do it, but not quickly or strongly. In my dream, I was actually trying to warm up for my race (the first one of the day--6am) and I couldn't swim right! For some reason, I could not a) pull my arms all the way down like you're supposed to, and b) open my eyes, so I was swimming with my eyes closed in the water and I couldn't see. I was however, wearing goggles. I never got to the race part of this dream, just the warm-ups.
The swimming dream was really strange because I know that I a) can swim well and fast and b) that goggles are my friend and that I can totally see what I'm doing even if I wasn't wearing them.
I am pretty anxious right now, and my anxiety does tend to manifest itself in my dreams sometimes. I have given up caffeine in this time because I know that it amps me up too much. Now I'm off to make some muffins and drink some herbal tea.
Sunday, February 01, 2009
25
This is copied over from my Facebook profile. Basically, this is a meme that's been going around. I caught it like a cold. Ha. What you're supposed to do is tell people 25 little known facts about yourself and then "tag" people to do the same. So here's my list of 25 little known facts about me:
1. My biggest fear is losing my teeth. I have dreams about this. The funny thing is that I have actually lost a tooth already and now have a fake tooth. I'm still frightened that I may lose the rest though.
2. The dream I have the hardest time admitting even to myself is that if I could, I would totally be a full-time studio musician.
3. If you ask me to go bowling, I will tell you that I will come hang out, but that I will not bowl. The reason is because I cannot bowl. The last time I went bowling was in 2002, and I significantly hurt my back. I do not want to risk having another significant injury like that, therefore I will never bowl again.
4. I think crows are fascinating birds. My fascination with crows began when I read Rascal by Sterling North which was more about a boy and his pet raccoon. However, it also featured a crow. I don't necessarily want a crow as a pet, but I would love to befriend one.
5. I love telling stories. I don't think I could ever write a novel, but I do enjoy writing short stories that are based on events that have happened in my life.
6. I have thought about trying to write a webcomic. I took a cartooning class at a summer camp once and enjoy writing my own comics sometimes. I think my strength is more in the writing part than the drawing part, so if any illustrators out there are interested in a collaborative project, let me know!
7. I *almost* tried out for a women's professional football team (tackle football), but then decided it would be too hard on my body. I still like to play. I'm a decent defender. I played a game of flag football in college once and managed to sack the (male) quarterback three times in one game, even after counting "alligators." I don't think he liked me all that much after that. :(
8. I am not only the oldest sibling in my immediate family, but the oldest of all my cousins, on both sides of the family. I used to wish I had an older sibling, but I have come to realize that being the oldest has its perks.
9. I am a VERY fast reader. I can read about 100 pages an hour. That's just an estimate. My speed is dependent upon how complex the writing is. My siblings have always been in awe of this skill that I have and once tried to count how many pages I read in two minutes. I was not paying attention and didn't realize they were doing this until I felt all of them staring at me while I was reading.
10. I can't WAIT until I'm able to have a dog. I've always wanted one. I will probably adopt one at a pound once I have the money and the space.
11. I'm really good at getting songs stuck in people's heads. Unless you want the song stuck in your head too, don't ask me what it is. It is rare that I'm not subconsciously singing or humming something in my head. I may also hum out loud without realizing that I'm doing it.
12. I am an instigator. I have a lot of ideas. Not all of them are good. But I often find that my ideas influence people. When I tell people that I am an instigator, they do not take me seriously. In a recent conversation, I earned new respect from my friends when they realized the extent of my ability to instigate. I hope to use my powers for good and not evil. But I do love a good prank. ;)
13. Most people think I'm extroverted. I'm not. I'm a really social introvert. My Myer's Briggs type is INTP, but I'm not the extremist version of this type. I have trouble sometimes molding myself into a more structured society as I like variety and am extremely adaptable. This also makes me indecisive and means that I tend to try to keep options open, sometimes to my own detriment.
14. For the last three Christmases, my family has tried to play "Stump Robyn with words from the dictionary" game, which means they find a random word in the dictionary and see if I know the meaning. The funny part is that they can't always pronounce the words they are trying to stump me with and I have often corrected their pronunciation...which means I have known the word and its meaning.
15. I have two master's degrees. What? I just like learning. One is in Education and one is in Library and Information Science. My goal is to be an instruction librarian at a college or university.
16. Though I am a musician, I am terrible at remembering (and knowing) lyrics, titles and artists of songs. People always try to make me do the humdingers in cranium because I can hum in tune, but I RARELY know what the song is on the card. Unless it's classical, don't make me do those, okay?
17. I am tall, 5'11'' (which most of you already know) but I am the shortest of my biological siblings. I like to say I'm the short kid in my family. Take a look at my photos in the family section and think about the fact that I'm 5'11''.
18. I always loved PE in school. I never understood why the other girls didn't.
19. My pet peeves include wet socks, earwax in my ear, when my fingernails are too long and they click on things, um, I know I have a few more, but those are the main ones.
20. I probably own way too many hats. But I like them, and I love wearing them. Most of them are baseball hats.
21. I'm pretty serious most of the time. But I have a good sense of fun and appreciate people who try to help me be less serious.
22. I hate arriving late to things. I get anxious when I'm running late or when my friends don't show up on time. If you're gonna be later than 15 min, please call me!
23. I love being outside.
24. My first job was as a lifeguard at Raging Waters in San Dimas. I worked as a deep water guard (wave cove!) even though people weren't supposed to work there until they were 18. Basically, I kicked booty in the swim test and I looked older so they asked me why I wasn't trying out for deep guard. When I told them it was because I was 16, they didn't care and moved me over. I am still a very good swimmer.
25. I once met Walter Cronkite in person. I was a history major at UCSB. My senior seminar was in modern American history. Cronkite was doing a lecture that night on campus and wanted to visit a class. There were 16 of us writing about events in the 1900's, and as we told him our topics, he provided commentary on each one. This was an amazing experience.
1. My biggest fear is losing my teeth. I have dreams about this. The funny thing is that I have actually lost a tooth already and now have a fake tooth. I'm still frightened that I may lose the rest though.
2. The dream I have the hardest time admitting even to myself is that if I could, I would totally be a full-time studio musician.
3. If you ask me to go bowling, I will tell you that I will come hang out, but that I will not bowl. The reason is because I cannot bowl. The last time I went bowling was in 2002, and I significantly hurt my back. I do not want to risk having another significant injury like that, therefore I will never bowl again.
4. I think crows are fascinating birds. My fascination with crows began when I read Rascal by Sterling North which was more about a boy and his pet raccoon. However, it also featured a crow. I don't necessarily want a crow as a pet, but I would love to befriend one.
5. I love telling stories. I don't think I could ever write a novel, but I do enjoy writing short stories that are based on events that have happened in my life.
6. I have thought about trying to write a webcomic. I took a cartooning class at a summer camp once and enjoy writing my own comics sometimes. I think my strength is more in the writing part than the drawing part, so if any illustrators out there are interested in a collaborative project, let me know!
7. I *almost* tried out for a women's professional football team (tackle football), but then decided it would be too hard on my body. I still like to play. I'm a decent defender. I played a game of flag football in college once and managed to sack the (male) quarterback three times in one game, even after counting "alligators." I don't think he liked me all that much after that. :(
8. I am not only the oldest sibling in my immediate family, but the oldest of all my cousins, on both sides of the family. I used to wish I had an older sibling, but I have come to realize that being the oldest has its perks.
9. I am a VERY fast reader. I can read about 100 pages an hour. That's just an estimate. My speed is dependent upon how complex the writing is. My siblings have always been in awe of this skill that I have and once tried to count how many pages I read in two minutes. I was not paying attention and didn't realize they were doing this until I felt all of them staring at me while I was reading.
10. I can't WAIT until I'm able to have a dog. I've always wanted one. I will probably adopt one at a pound once I have the money and the space.
11. I'm really good at getting songs stuck in people's heads. Unless you want the song stuck in your head too, don't ask me what it is. It is rare that I'm not subconsciously singing or humming something in my head. I may also hum out loud without realizing that I'm doing it.
12. I am an instigator. I have a lot of ideas. Not all of them are good. But I often find that my ideas influence people. When I tell people that I am an instigator, they do not take me seriously. In a recent conversation, I earned new respect from my friends when they realized the extent of my ability to instigate. I hope to use my powers for good and not evil. But I do love a good prank. ;)
13. Most people think I'm extroverted. I'm not. I'm a really social introvert. My Myer's Briggs type is INTP, but I'm not the extremist version of this type. I have trouble sometimes molding myself into a more structured society as I like variety and am extremely adaptable. This also makes me indecisive and means that I tend to try to keep options open, sometimes to my own detriment.
14. For the last three Christmases, my family has tried to play "Stump Robyn with words from the dictionary" game, which means they find a random word in the dictionary and see if I know the meaning. The funny part is that they can't always pronounce the words they are trying to stump me with and I have often corrected their pronunciation...which means I have known the word and its meaning.
15. I have two master's degrees. What? I just like learning. One is in Education and one is in Library and Information Science. My goal is to be an instruction librarian at a college or university.
16. Though I am a musician, I am terrible at remembering (and knowing) lyrics, titles and artists of songs. People always try to make me do the humdingers in cranium because I can hum in tune, but I RARELY know what the song is on the card. Unless it's classical, don't make me do those, okay?
17. I am tall, 5'11'' (which most of you already know) but I am the shortest of my biological siblings. I like to say I'm the short kid in my family. Take a look at my photos in the family section and think about the fact that I'm 5'11''.
18. I always loved PE in school. I never understood why the other girls didn't.
19. My pet peeves include wet socks, earwax in my ear, when my fingernails are too long and they click on things, um, I know I have a few more, but those are the main ones.
20. I probably own way too many hats. But I like them, and I love wearing them. Most of them are baseball hats.
21. I'm pretty serious most of the time. But I have a good sense of fun and appreciate people who try to help me be less serious.
22. I hate arriving late to things. I get anxious when I'm running late or when my friends don't show up on time. If you're gonna be later than 15 min, please call me!
23. I love being outside.
24. My first job was as a lifeguard at Raging Waters in San Dimas. I worked as a deep water guard (wave cove!) even though people weren't supposed to work there until they were 18. Basically, I kicked booty in the swim test and I looked older so they asked me why I wasn't trying out for deep guard. When I told them it was because I was 16, they didn't care and moved me over. I am still a very good swimmer.
25. I once met Walter Cronkite in person. I was a history major at UCSB. My senior seminar was in modern American history. Cronkite was doing a lecture that night on campus and wanted to visit a class. There were 16 of us writing about events in the 1900's, and as we told him our topics, he provided commentary on each one. This was an amazing experience.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Anxiety and Change
There are certain things in life that ALWAYS impact my anxiety level, and thus my ability to sleep. In those times, I try to walk it off or talk myself down. I'm feeling really anxious at the moment, mostly because there will be some significant changes in my life in the months ahead. Change is exciting and scary and challenging all at the same time.
I'm looking forward to it and dreading it all at the same time.
I'm looking forward to it and dreading it all at the same time.
Monday, January 26, 2009
Recording Session
Things are going well. Last Saturday, I had the opportunity to record a song for a local band called Lessons from Zeke. The session went well I thought, I was able to knock out the song in about an hour. I did three takes total. Awesome!
We recorded at DML studios. Mike (Lessons from Zeke) had initially told me that we were going to record at this guys house, but it turned out that the garage had been converted into one of the most professional home studios I've seen!
The guy who recorded us is well known and respected in the music community, so I was surprised to find out that I was recording at his studio.
I had a great time and look forward to hearing the final product.
We recorded at DML studios. Mike (Lessons from Zeke) had initially told me that we were going to record at this guys house, but it turned out that the garage had been converted into one of the most professional home studios I've seen!
The guy who recorded us is well known and respected in the music community, so I was surprised to find out that I was recording at his studio.
I had a great time and look forward to hearing the final product.
Thursday, January 08, 2009
Regular
So. There's a bakery down the street from where I work. They are awesome! People come from all over town to experience their homemade breaded wonderfulness. My favorite thing to get there is a raspberry chocolate scone. The bakery has them on Tuesdays and Fridays, and maybe on the weekend sometime as well.
Well, I did not realize I was known as a regular customer until I walked in the bakery today (Thursday) and the girl at the counter says, "Oh no, no raspberry chocolate scones! What are you gonna do?"
I laughed and said, "I know. Um, I'm gonna get a pear almond scone."
I wish I could capture the tone on the girl at the counter's statement because it was very cops or something, "Whatcha gonna do!?" or maybe Speed (the movie), "There's a bomb on a bus...what do you do, WHAT, do you do!?"
I still like the raspberry chocolate scones better, but given my options, the pear almond will have to do for today.
Well, I did not realize I was known as a regular customer until I walked in the bakery today (Thursday) and the girl at the counter says, "Oh no, no raspberry chocolate scones! What are you gonna do?"
I laughed and said, "I know. Um, I'm gonna get a pear almond scone."
I wish I could capture the tone on the girl at the counter's statement because it was very cops or something, "Whatcha gonna do!?" or maybe Speed (the movie), "There's a bomb on a bus...what do you do, WHAT, do you do!?"
I still like the raspberry chocolate scones better, but given my options, the pear almond will have to do for today.
Monday, January 05, 2009
Worry
I know. This is an interesting topic for my first blog of the new year...
I just had an IM conversation with a friend who was worried about a situation that she did not really have control over. I never know what to say to people in these situations. I don't really feel like I can relate.
I do not get worried that often because if I notice that I'm worried, I try to problem solve the situation. Why am I worried? What power do I have to change the situation? What are the specific steps that I can take? If I decide that I have no control over a situation (which is the case most of the time) then I see no reason to worry.
As a Christian, I believe that God is in control all the time. This does not mean that he prevents bad things from happening. However, this gives me the ability to face down many of these anxious situations with calmness.
However, there have been times in my life where I have lived in a state of continuous anxiety. This is not fun. Whenever I face this level of anxiety in my own life, my solution is to change my focus as much as possible, by reading a book, watching a movie or anything that will engage my mind and keep me from thinking about whatever it is that has me worried. I have also found that in these times, I'm WAY more likely to sleep if I can wear my body and mind out with exercise.
It is in these moments that I often am reminded of God's many promises to me and everyone else in this world--that He loves his people and me specifically, He has a purpose and plan for my life, that He can use these terrible situations for good in my life or perhaps in the lives of others, and that I am not alone.
Often, when I confess to others that I am anxious or worried, when I do go through these times of trouble, I am always encouraged by the responses of the people around me. It helps to have friends and family remind me of the promises previously stated and ease me towards healing from those situations.
I just had an IM conversation with a friend who was worried about a situation that she did not really have control over. I never know what to say to people in these situations. I don't really feel like I can relate.
I do not get worried that often because if I notice that I'm worried, I try to problem solve the situation. Why am I worried? What power do I have to change the situation? What are the specific steps that I can take? If I decide that I have no control over a situation (which is the case most of the time) then I see no reason to worry.
As a Christian, I believe that God is in control all the time. This does not mean that he prevents bad things from happening. However, this gives me the ability to face down many of these anxious situations with calmness.
However, there have been times in my life where I have lived in a state of continuous anxiety. This is not fun. Whenever I face this level of anxiety in my own life, my solution is to change my focus as much as possible, by reading a book, watching a movie or anything that will engage my mind and keep me from thinking about whatever it is that has me worried. I have also found that in these times, I'm WAY more likely to sleep if I can wear my body and mind out with exercise.
It is in these moments that I often am reminded of God's many promises to me and everyone else in this world--that He loves his people and me specifically, He has a purpose and plan for my life, that He can use these terrible situations for good in my life or perhaps in the lives of others, and that I am not alone.
Often, when I confess to others that I am anxious or worried, when I do go through these times of trouble, I am always encouraged by the responses of the people around me. It helps to have friends and family remind me of the promises previously stated and ease me towards healing from those situations.
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
If I were to write a Christmas letter...
If I were writing a Christmas Letter, this is what it would say:
I have so much to be thankful for this year. I bought a new cello with the help of my family and friends for my birthday last February. It has been such an awesome blessing. This instrument is beautiful and I've started to think about playing a recital sometime in March. It will take a bit of preparation on my part, but I am hoping that I will be able to share my talent with all my supporters and fans. :)
A very personal journey is coming to an end soon (I hope). I started trying to lose some weight about a year and a half ago, and I just recently hit 40 pounds of weight loss. My goal is still about 10 pounds away, but I feel so much better (and hopefully look good too!). It has been a struggle that I do not like to talk about since I know so many people who struggle with this issue. But I am proud of my accomplishment and look forward to being able to steal pants from my sister!
I have built some great relationships with local musicians in town. I'm currently playing with Lessons From Zeke, a local band here in San Diego. I have really enjoyed playing with this talented group of musicians and I'm looking forward to contributing to a few songs on their next album.I have also had the opportunity to try singing and really enjoy it! I sing occasionally with the band at church and this has been a great experience.
I also finished my Master's Degree in Library and Information Sciences from San Jose State University. I'm excited to be done. My life will be drastically different due to the end of my schooling. I'm looking forward to the future and especially having more free time.It has been a great year. I'm looking forward to the next. I wish you all a Merry Christmas!
I have so much to be thankful for this year. I bought a new cello with the help of my family and friends for my birthday last February. It has been such an awesome blessing. This instrument is beautiful and I've started to think about playing a recital sometime in March. It will take a bit of preparation on my part, but I am hoping that I will be able to share my talent with all my supporters and fans. :)
A very personal journey is coming to an end soon (I hope). I started trying to lose some weight about a year and a half ago, and I just recently hit 40 pounds of weight loss. My goal is still about 10 pounds away, but I feel so much better (and hopefully look good too!). It has been a struggle that I do not like to talk about since I know so many people who struggle with this issue. But I am proud of my accomplishment and look forward to being able to steal pants from my sister!
I have built some great relationships with local musicians in town. I'm currently playing with Lessons From Zeke, a local band here in San Diego. I have really enjoyed playing with this talented group of musicians and I'm looking forward to contributing to a few songs on their next album.I have also had the opportunity to try singing and really enjoy it! I sing occasionally with the band at church and this has been a great experience.
I also finished my Master's Degree in Library and Information Sciences from San Jose State University. I'm excited to be done. My life will be drastically different due to the end of my schooling. I'm looking forward to the future and especially having more free time.It has been a great year. I'm looking forward to the next. I wish you all a Merry Christmas!
Monday, December 22, 2008
Merry Christmas!
This has been a really busy week. I'm still trying to finish stuff up before I start driving to LA for a few days. I'm looking forward to a true break, no plans, except to maybe play some cello and pick back up some of the technique I've been losing.
I went Christmas shopping last Friday and bought all my gifts plus all the wrapping in the same two hour period of time. My guy friends were all hangin' out at their house. When they asked if I was coming over, I asked if I could bring my gifts and wrap them there. They were agreeable of course, and one of them asked me excitedly if he could help. I gave him the, "Seriously?" look. He really wanted to help, so I let him (of course) and we got my gifts wrapped in half the time!
He also modeled the gift I got for my sister-in-law. That picture is classic. I will try to remember to post it here after she opens the gift.
I have to admit that I'm very thankful this year. It has been a pretty good year. I feel more free, maybe cause I finished the degree and a little lighter (after losing 40 pounds over the last year and a half) and pretty optimistic about the future.
I never usually look forward to Christmas. It is my least favorite holiday. Usually it has been stressful and not restful due to the number of places I feel obligated to be. This year, I've had a change of heart and I'm looking forward to celebrating with my family and all the traditions it entails.
I went Christmas shopping last Friday and bought all my gifts plus all the wrapping in the same two hour period of time. My guy friends were all hangin' out at their house. When they asked if I was coming over, I asked if I could bring my gifts and wrap them there. They were agreeable of course, and one of them asked me excitedly if he could help. I gave him the, "Seriously?" look. He really wanted to help, so I let him (of course) and we got my gifts wrapped in half the time!
He also modeled the gift I got for my sister-in-law. That picture is classic. I will try to remember to post it here after she opens the gift.
I have to admit that I'm very thankful this year. It has been a pretty good year. I feel more free, maybe cause I finished the degree and a little lighter (after losing 40 pounds over the last year and a half) and pretty optimistic about the future.
I never usually look forward to Christmas. It is my least favorite holiday. Usually it has been stressful and not restful due to the number of places I feel obligated to be. This year, I've had a change of heart and I'm looking forward to celebrating with my family and all the traditions it entails.
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Presence
The campus where I work is beautiful. It is right on the ocean and the weather is usually awesome. The other day I was walking to the campus post office and saw at least three students sending or receiving text messages while walking. It is crazy to think how attached we all are to our personal electronic devices.
In the Phantom Tollbooth, by Norton Juster, Milo, a boy with no ambition and nothing to do, finds himself in a strange land. In one of the chapters, Milo sees all these people walking quickly to their destinations, only he can't figure out where any of them are going--he sees no buildings, streets or landmarks. No one is talking, no one is looking up, and all the people are just watching their feet. After engaging one of these people, he finds that there is a city, with buildings, streets, and other structures, but the city is invisible. The reason for its invisibility is that the citizens of this city stopped seeing it. They started watching their feet and ignoring each other instead. After a while, the city faded.
The city is invisible because the people stopped looking at it.
One thing I try to practice each day is being present. Paying attention to where I am in the here and now. I try to listen when people talk, look up and smile at people when I am walking, and admire the scenery wherever I am. I just think that if we all tried to practice a little more presence, we might actually connect more concretely as a community.
It seemed to me that the students who were walking and texting weren't really able to enjoy the beautiful weather or the view.
One day they are going to wake up, and find that the ocean has faded away.
In the Phantom Tollbooth, by Norton Juster, Milo, a boy with no ambition and nothing to do, finds himself in a strange land. In one of the chapters, Milo sees all these people walking quickly to their destinations, only he can't figure out where any of them are going--he sees no buildings, streets or landmarks. No one is talking, no one is looking up, and all the people are just watching their feet. After engaging one of these people, he finds that there is a city, with buildings, streets, and other structures, but the city is invisible. The reason for its invisibility is that the citizens of this city stopped seeing it. They started watching their feet and ignoring each other instead. After a while, the city faded.
The city is invisible because the people stopped looking at it.
One thing I try to practice each day is being present. Paying attention to where I am in the here and now. I try to listen when people talk, look up and smile at people when I am walking, and admire the scenery wherever I am. I just think that if we all tried to practice a little more presence, we might actually connect more concretely as a community.
It seemed to me that the students who were walking and texting weren't really able to enjoy the beautiful weather or the view.
One day they are going to wake up, and find that the ocean has faded away.
Tuesday, December 09, 2008
Friends
I love my friends. This is a pic of ONOE: One Night Only Ever!
We learned three songs and played one show for our other friends. Unfortunately, one of our members moved away and our band is now disbanded. If you missed our show, you missed out!
Photo Credit: Dan G.
Sunday, December 07, 2008
Conversations 14
Two weeks ago, I was playing ultimate frisbee and pulled my calf muscle. I could walk, but I was profoundly limping and was sore for about a week. When the muscle pulled, I felt a popping sensation in my leg. Later, I realized that the muscle popped one of my veins. I had a very nice bruise on my leg as a result. My friend Jason was there when I hurt myself:
Me: Jason! I'm glad you're here! I totally wanted to show you my awesome bruise! (I put my leg up on his chair and pulled back the cuff of my jeans)
Jason: Wow. That's crazy. I don't even want to think about it. Put that thing away!
Me (after a slight pause): What, you don't think its attractive?
Dave: Well, I was about to offer you a ride.
Me: Thanks Dave.
Scott: It's okay Jason. I wouldn't have gotten the hint either.
Me: Jason! I'm glad you're here! I totally wanted to show you my awesome bruise! (I put my leg up on his chair and pulled back the cuff of my jeans)
Jason: Wow. That's crazy. I don't even want to think about it. Put that thing away!
Me (after a slight pause): What, you don't think its attractive?
Dave: Well, I was about to offer you a ride.
Me: Thanks Dave.
Scott: It's okay Jason. I wouldn't have gotten the hint either.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Last Weekend
I had a great weekend last weekend. I got to spend way more time than usual with people I like. That's what I miss when I'm in school. It started with opera on Thursday night. I had four friends come. I am always so appreciative when people come to my performances.
Then on Friday, I went to the mall for lunch with a bunch of friends. Then I took my cello in to get fixed, and found out that the shop would do it for free because I bought it from them. It had a loose seam which was creating a percussive buzz.
Then I went back to the boys house that night and we played Apples to Apples. I love that game and it was a lot of fun. Hilarity ensued. On Saturday morning, I went to play Ultimate Frisbee, but while I was playing, my calf muscle popped. It hurt a lot! I am still stiff and I noticed yesterday that there is a lot of bruising on the back side of my leg. I was bummed that I couldn't finish the game because it is one of my favorite things to do and it is good exercise. After Frisbee, I went to the movies with my sister and then we went to dinner with the same guys I hung out with on Friday. I have been trying to have my sister meet these friends of mine for some time, and I'm glad that she was finally able to meet them.
Lots of jokes about my gimpy-ness were told. I was definitely hobbling around. I'm still limping a little, and my muscle is really tight. I'm hoping that I'll be able to work around it to do some cardio on Friday.
Then on Friday, I went to the mall for lunch with a bunch of friends. Then I took my cello in to get fixed, and found out that the shop would do it for free because I bought it from them. It had a loose seam which was creating a percussive buzz.
Then I went back to the boys house that night and we played Apples to Apples. I love that game and it was a lot of fun. Hilarity ensued. On Saturday morning, I went to play Ultimate Frisbee, but while I was playing, my calf muscle popped. It hurt a lot! I am still stiff and I noticed yesterday that there is a lot of bruising on the back side of my leg. I was bummed that I couldn't finish the game because it is one of my favorite things to do and it is good exercise. After Frisbee, I went to the movies with my sister and then we went to dinner with the same guys I hung out with on Friday. I have been trying to have my sister meet these friends of mine for some time, and I'm glad that she was finally able to meet them.
Lots of jokes about my gimpy-ness were told. I was definitely hobbling around. I'm still limping a little, and my muscle is really tight. I'm hoping that I'll be able to work around it to do some cardio on Friday.
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Motivation
I got to go out with a few friends from my Bible Study last night. We ditched the study in favor of celebrating the completion of my degree and my friend's birthday.
I was just thinking that it is hard for me to celebrate sometimes. I've never really liked big parties and though I have completed my degree I'm not feeling particularly proud of the accomplishment. I knew that I could finish it, and it was not particularly challenging for me to do so. I'm thankful and relieved to be done mostly because I'll have more time to rest.
But the celebration last night helped put me in a better mindset. It is exciting that I'm finished. I will have more time to do things that I've put aside due to the degree.
I'm learning that I am so undisciplined and it is impacting my ability to stay motivated and succeed. I was trying to think of some ways that I could regain my work ethic. A few ideas included trying to get up a little earlier to pray, or being more disciplined in my journal writing, emphasizing one thing I hope to accomplish each day and one thing I'm thankful for...
I realized that I have a lot to be thankful for this year. An attitude of thankfulness helps restore contentment. I would like to have more joy and I wish my life was a little less boring. I was thinking though that there are some awesome things that have happened this last year and some really painful ones. I was also thinking that I might actually write a life update letter for the holidays.
Probably not, but if I did, my list would include:
When I went in to get my driver's license picture retaken, I had to change my weight. I do not remember what it said, but I decided to put down 180. I weighed 190 at the time and had already lost about 20 pounds. My goal is 170. I weigh 184 right now. That's about what I weighed my senior year of college. I'm finally back in the gym, and I'm totally feeling better about myself. I have more energy (which is kind of to my detriment since it is hard for me to sit down and focus for extended periods of time).
I had been on a LONG plateau... just maintaining my current weight and not losing any, but I started trying to monitor my sugar intake again. This totally works. I have a little bit during the day usually, but I don't crave sweet things as much, or if I do, I usually want something that is sweet but not super sweet. But I lost a couple pounds in the last two weeks so I'm hopeful again. I'm ready to try getting back in the gym more frequently or maybe the pool. This is definitely a different attitude than the one I had even three months ago.
The only bummer is that I'll probably have to pay again for major dress tailoring for my sister's wedding next June. Oh well. I'd rather be healthy and pay a monetary penalty than the penalty in life.
I was just thinking that it is hard for me to celebrate sometimes. I've never really liked big parties and though I have completed my degree I'm not feeling particularly proud of the accomplishment. I knew that I could finish it, and it was not particularly challenging for me to do so. I'm thankful and relieved to be done mostly because I'll have more time to rest.
But the celebration last night helped put me in a better mindset. It is exciting that I'm finished. I will have more time to do things that I've put aside due to the degree.
I'm learning that I am so undisciplined and it is impacting my ability to stay motivated and succeed. I was trying to think of some ways that I could regain my work ethic. A few ideas included trying to get up a little earlier to pray, or being more disciplined in my journal writing, emphasizing one thing I hope to accomplish each day and one thing I'm thankful for...
I realized that I have a lot to be thankful for this year. An attitude of thankfulness helps restore contentment. I would like to have more joy and I wish my life was a little less boring. I was thinking though that there are some awesome things that have happened this last year and some really painful ones. I was also thinking that I might actually write a life update letter for the holidays.
Probably not, but if I did, my list would include:
- new cello
- joining a band
- losing 30 pounds and continuing to keep it off and lose a little more
- finishing my MLIS degree
When I went in to get my driver's license picture retaken, I had to change my weight. I do not remember what it said, but I decided to put down 180. I weighed 190 at the time and had already lost about 20 pounds. My goal is 170. I weigh 184 right now. That's about what I weighed my senior year of college. I'm finally back in the gym, and I'm totally feeling better about myself. I have more energy (which is kind of to my detriment since it is hard for me to sit down and focus for extended periods of time).
I had been on a LONG plateau... just maintaining my current weight and not losing any, but I started trying to monitor my sugar intake again. This totally works. I have a little bit during the day usually, but I don't crave sweet things as much, or if I do, I usually want something that is sweet but not super sweet. But I lost a couple pounds in the last two weeks so I'm hopeful again. I'm ready to try getting back in the gym more frequently or maybe the pool. This is definitely a different attitude than the one I had even three months ago.
The only bummer is that I'll probably have to pay again for major dress tailoring for my sister's wedding next June. Oh well. I'd rather be healthy and pay a monetary penalty than the penalty in life.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Week in Review
It has been a long week. I just finished my Master's Degree in Library and Information Science. It has been three years coming. I am feeling good about being done, but discouraged about the job market. A few weeks ago, I had a librarian email me to see when they could set up a conference call with me. I followed up yesterday, and turns out that they have many more qualified applicants. I was also chatting with one of the admin assistants where I work. They have two open faculty positions in their department and had over 100 applicants. The job market in higher education is kind of discouraging.
I feel that I'm such an average candidate. There are so many people out there who have way more experience. I am afraid that I will succomb to just taking a job because I cannot get a job that I would really love.
I am also playing in an opera this week. I have never been more disciplined with my time than I was last week. I had so many things I wanted to do last week, and still had to find time to finish my Master's project. I had to set goals every morning and stayed up late almost every night of the week last week in order to get things done. I wanted to have some time last weekend to spend with my friends.
So in addition to playing the opera on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday, I also played ultimate frisbee on Saturday morning and went to a party on Saturday afternoon. I had a lot of fun and I'm really glad I went. I totally took a short nap before heading over.
This was the party wherein my "band" ONOE (One Night Only Ever!) played its one and only show. We had practiced four songs together. We only had one rehearsal and then we played for our friends. At the party, we played three of the four songs. I'm still waiting to see pictures from the party. I'm sure they are pretty funny. I also debuted a song I wrote two years ago called Simple Autumn and the response was positive. It is a song about change. One of the audience members noted that it could have been Barack Obama's theme song.
I feel really tired right now and kind of overwhelmed by the process ahead of me--facing the future. This should be exciting, but I'm feeling rather pessimistic at the moment. I am looking forward to a good break from school, spending more time with friends and family as well as playing our last showing of the opera on Thursday. I have a few friends coming and I'm hoping that we'll play well. I'm expecting that this show will come close to selling out.
I feel that I'm such an average candidate. There are so many people out there who have way more experience. I am afraid that I will succomb to just taking a job because I cannot get a job that I would really love.
I am also playing in an opera this week. I have never been more disciplined with my time than I was last week. I had so many things I wanted to do last week, and still had to find time to finish my Master's project. I had to set goals every morning and stayed up late almost every night of the week last week in order to get things done. I wanted to have some time last weekend to spend with my friends.
So in addition to playing the opera on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday, I also played ultimate frisbee on Saturday morning and went to a party on Saturday afternoon. I had a lot of fun and I'm really glad I went. I totally took a short nap before heading over.
This was the party wherein my "band" ONOE (One Night Only Ever!) played its one and only show. We had practiced four songs together. We only had one rehearsal and then we played for our friends. At the party, we played three of the four songs. I'm still waiting to see pictures from the party. I'm sure they are pretty funny. I also debuted a song I wrote two years ago called Simple Autumn and the response was positive. It is a song about change. One of the audience members noted that it could have been Barack Obama's theme song.
I feel really tired right now and kind of overwhelmed by the process ahead of me--facing the future. This should be exciting, but I'm feeling rather pessimistic at the moment. I am looking forward to a good break from school, spending more time with friends and family as well as playing our last showing of the opera on Thursday. I have a few friends coming and I'm hoping that we'll play well. I'm expecting that this show will come close to selling out.
Sunday, November 09, 2008
Banding together
I have a group of guy friends who all live in a house close to where I live. They LOVE games. All kinds. Computer, video, board games, and card games. They enjoy playing rock band, which is what they play when people come over. Two of the guys liked the game so much that they decided to learn how to play actual instruments. One of them got a bass guitar and some lessons, and the other acquired a drum set.
We have been talking about having me come over to play guitar and jam with them, so on Friday night, it actually happened! I brought over my guitar and we set things up in the garage! I taught the bass player how to play Run-around by Blues Traveler and a song called Unwinding Cable Car by Anberlin. It was fun to teach someone how to play a song. Meanwhile, all the other guys at the house got curious and stopped in to watch and listen to what was going on. We even had a "roadie" who set up a computer for me and found lyrics for Run-around! It was awesome.
I'm going to a party this weekend and the invite said that there would be a live band. I'm thinking, "That's great! I wonder who the band is?"
After talking to the host on Friday night, I was informed that I was the band! Apparently, the drummer is so excited about playing that he volunteered us to play without really talking to me first, which is funny considering I'm the guitarist and singer. I'm not sure that we'll be able to play more than the two songs I taught the bass player, but I'll definitely bring the guitar and we'll all jam. It might not be a true "performance" but more hanging out and playing music.
I have realized lately that although music is something I'm passionate about, not many of my close friends are musicians. I spend a lot of time playing music... at least four hours a week, if not more than that. So it is fun to have a set of friends that is interested in jamming for fun! I might be encouraged to write more songs.
The only bummer is that the bass player is moving next week. Anyone else want to jump in?
We have been talking about having me come over to play guitar and jam with them, so on Friday night, it actually happened! I brought over my guitar and we set things up in the garage! I taught the bass player how to play Run-around by Blues Traveler and a song called Unwinding Cable Car by Anberlin. It was fun to teach someone how to play a song. Meanwhile, all the other guys at the house got curious and stopped in to watch and listen to what was going on. We even had a "roadie" who set up a computer for me and found lyrics for Run-around! It was awesome.
I'm going to a party this weekend and the invite said that there would be a live band. I'm thinking, "That's great! I wonder who the band is?"
After talking to the host on Friday night, I was informed that I was the band! Apparently, the drummer is so excited about playing that he volunteered us to play without really talking to me first, which is funny considering I'm the guitarist and singer. I'm not sure that we'll be able to play more than the two songs I taught the bass player, but I'll definitely bring the guitar and we'll all jam. It might not be a true "performance" but more hanging out and playing music.
I have realized lately that although music is something I'm passionate about, not many of my close friends are musicians. I spend a lot of time playing music... at least four hours a week, if not more than that. So it is fun to have a set of friends that is interested in jamming for fun! I might be encouraged to write more songs.
The only bummer is that the bass player is moving next week. Anyone else want to jump in?
Tuesday, November 04, 2008
Instruments
I changed out the strings on my electric guitar today. The guitar does not actually belong to me, but has been in my possession for awhile. I'm not sure that my friend is ever going to ask for it back!
What I realized is that instruments are very sensitive to change. It takes time for the strings to settle in. Until they do, I constantly have to re-tune the instrument. The strings need time to stretch out and regulate to the appropriate tension on the instrument.
For my cello, any little change in the humidity or temperature really affects the instrument. When it is dry, my tuning pegs tend to dry out a little, contract, and then I find loose strings on my instrument. Cellos are slightly more difficult to tune than guitars.
Once a stringed instrument is re-tuned in these circumstances, it may not necessarily hold the pitch and the musician must constantly pay attention to readjust the tones so that they are the right ones.
I find a metaphor lurking in this post about people, change, and habits. Habits will only change if we notice them and constantly adjust. It is our nature to just settle back in to where we were before, even when we KNOW it causes dissonance in our lives. I personally am finding myself more resistant to change than I thought I was. I find it is quite the challenge to embrace change rather than resist.
What I realized is that instruments are very sensitive to change. It takes time for the strings to settle in. Until they do, I constantly have to re-tune the instrument. The strings need time to stretch out and regulate to the appropriate tension on the instrument.
For my cello, any little change in the humidity or temperature really affects the instrument. When it is dry, my tuning pegs tend to dry out a little, contract, and then I find loose strings on my instrument. Cellos are slightly more difficult to tune than guitars.
Once a stringed instrument is re-tuned in these circumstances, it may not necessarily hold the pitch and the musician must constantly pay attention to readjust the tones so that they are the right ones.
I find a metaphor lurking in this post about people, change, and habits. Habits will only change if we notice them and constantly adjust. It is our nature to just settle back in to where we were before, even when we KNOW it causes dissonance in our lives. I personally am finding myself more resistant to change than I thought I was. I find it is quite the challenge to embrace change rather than resist.
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